Gloria's Oversexed Mind

What ho, yon Merkin!

This strange infobyte claims merkins are back in fashion. Obviously, the time then is ripe for a mini-merkin show. And, no, I'm not talking about the person who once wrote an infamous essay on spanking. I'm talking about the triangular wig that whores allegedly once wore to cover up those unsightly venereal lesions. As in EEEUW.

Let Cecil explain it all to you.

Meanwhile, since pictures are worth a thousand blablas, here is a contemporary image of what the original merkin may have looked like.

But it's the nouveau-couture merkin that caught my eye. Each one makes a unique fashion statement. For example, this merkin's saying "tickle my fancy."

This one says "take time to stop and smell the flowers."

This one..ummm...I'm not sure what PETA was trying to say. Eat pussy, not bacon?

But I do know that NO ONE wants to hear another word out of this one.

England's sexual identity disorder

England's policies on sexuality are in a bizarre muddle right now, and I have a feeling it's only going to get weirder. On one hand, the government recently imposed insanely stringent obscenity laws against any porn which depicts anything that anyone might interpret as violent or degrading sex. In other words, any whiff of kink of any kind, and it's illegal.

At the same time, a new sex ed program for kids, encourages them to masturbate daily. Which is awesome! In fact, they're using a slogan I thought I invented some years ago. Hey! I should've trademarked it.

The National Health Service of Britain has sparked controversy with their controversial sex education campaign promoting an orgasm a day:

...Alongside the slogan "an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away", it says: "Health promotion experts advocate five portions of fruit and veg a day and 30 minutes' physical activity three times a week. What about sex or masturbation twice a week?"

Oh, I get it: you can masturbate all you want but you can't look at anything that will arouse you. Ah.

Glad I don't live in England.

(Thanks to Quill for the orgasmic link.)

Israel makes its enemies harder

Is it kosher to arouse your enemies? Hamas doesn't think so.

Hamas suspects that Israeli intelligence services are supplying its Gaza Strip stronghold with chewing gum that boosts the sex drive in order to "corrupt the young," an official said on Tuesday.

"We have discovered two types of stimulants that were introduced into the Gaza Strip from Israeli border crossings," Hamas police spokesman Islam Shahwan told AFP.

"The first type is presented in the form of chewing gum and the second in the form of drops," he said.

Hamas says Israel dumping aphrodisiac gum on Gaza

Retro Hotness: 70s porn

I like a sex-research challenge so when I found these two photos listing the names of actors/models I didn't know, I hunted around a bit and discovered:

Cindy Hopkins, the lady so elegantly propping her foot on the hairy hunk (could that be Jamie Gillis?) is a stage name for Suzanne Fields, who has almost fifty porn movies to her credit. If you've watched a lot of 70s porn, you've probably watched her in action.

The search for Elizabeth Donohue and Jerry Wade (names given to these models/actors) didn't yield anything. Unless the Jerry Wade in the photo below grew up to be this Jerry Wade. The time frames seem right, and the article says he once worked at a porn theater. Wonder if it is the same guy.

Even fish are dark

After a looooong morning of therapy, I'm now taking a short break, and watching the platy fish in one of my tanks. I unwittingly bought a mating pair. After fretting that one of them was blowing up like a small balloon, it finally occurred to me she could be pregnant. This meant asking google how to tell male and female apart, which led to learning how to identify the platy penis. Or, as one fish-wit put it, "once you see it, you'll never forget how it looks." Oh so sadly true. I'll never be able to look at a male platy again without smirking.

Sexing fish is still better than conducting some necessary scatalogical research when I first got them and learning everything anyone could ever possibly want to know about platy poo. Fascinating facts, like the platy is prone to constipation and stringy poo, and that platy poo is the same color as its last meal.

Anyway, the female has been slowly releasing her fry. Tiny and translucent, their heads are all eye. They are now darting among the other tiny critters that inhabit the low regions of the platy tank: a colony of dwarf shrimp and a handful of pygmy catfish, all of them happily munching on invisible organisms.

It's delightful to watch, but likely a short-lived pleasure. Platy eat their young, and Mom is already snooping around their hidey-holes for snacks. It's the naturally cruel order of things and like the voyeur I am, I'm just going to watch.

Flow-Chart for sex talk

Via Boing Boing

Things to say during sex

Two ways of looking at a banana

_{(Yes, my poet friends, I did for a moment consider finding 13, but decided two were enough.)}

I originally snagged this ca. 1920s image of prima ballerina Anna Pavlova thinking it was risque. Not because she was cross-dressed.

But because when I first saw the tassel, it reminded me of another image on my drive.

A brief word from my dogs

It's official. Cats are evil.

Oh that funky, feel-bad 50s underwear

When I was a little girl, the ladies' dressing rooms at big department stores looked like torture chambers. All around, wide-hipped matrons heaved and sighed and dripped sweat as they struggled with the thick, tight girdles, and stiff pointy bras with straps that carved welts into their skin, and baroque hardware to keep slippery unbreathable stockings in place. If that was womanhood, I wanted to be a man.

This may partly explain my thrill today in making men wear this stuff.

A sip of pond, a tender croak, and amplexus by moonlight with thee

Amphibians around the world synchronise their mating activity by the full Moon, researchers have discovered.

This global phenomenon has never been noticed before, but frogs, toads and newts all like to mate by moonlight.

The animals use the lunar cycle to co-ordinate their gatherings, ensuring that enough males and females come together at the same time.

In doing so the creatures maximise their spawning success and reduce their odds of being eaten.

Amphibians mate under a full Moon