Needless to say, the uproar over the Mosley case has -- depending on your point of view -- either opened a frank and exciting new public dialogue about sadomasochism or given vanilla people an opportunity to try and rut around in our psyches.

Some people, like the very admirable British activists Deborah Hyde (not to be confused with American SM author, Debra Hyde), believe Mosley's case is positive news for SMers.

from....

Whatever turns them on? Inside the minds of the sadomasochists

This trial is a good thing,' said Deborah Hyde, spokeswoman for Backlash, which campaigns for BDSM rights. 'We're finally getting the chance to talk to the media, who have ignored us for years. In Max Mosley we've got a man who says: "This is who I am." He's got expensive lawyers who can fight his case, but many others end up being dragged through the family courts or in front of their employers. In Mosley, we have someone who is fighting our corner.'

It's probably fair to say that Mosley, 67, was not intent on championing a sexual subculture when he launched his invasion of privacy action over the paper's publication in April of his predilection for S&M.

Hmmm....I agree with her, philosophically. But then when I think about people who don't even know that much about human sexuality in the first place trying to impress with titles like "Inside the Minds of Sadomasochists," I cringe. Talking to media is great, it's wonderful to know they are willing to listen. But what exactly are they hearing? More importantly, how much do they understand and what message are they sending?

For example, the title of the above story suggests that there is some kind of giant consolidated SM mind or attitude that can be penetrated to reveal what makes us all tick. Bah. That's a one-dimensional approach. You can't get "inside the mind" of all SMers anymore than you can get inside the mind of all Catholics or Jews. See (whispering a big secret): people are individuals! Even sadomasochistic people. SHHHH! Don't tell anyone. We wouldn't want to scare vanillas by making them actually consider SMers as diverse human beings instead of widgets whose specs can be published on the web.

Also, note how the reporter felt compelled to include information about how SM causes psychic stress for some people and becomes an "addiction." Oy fucking vey. Please note: "Sexual addiction" is not a clinical diagnosis; it is not listed in the APA; it is a theory developed in large part by a shrink of dubious standing (Patrick Carnes); it appeals to people who think sex is bad therefore a lot of sex is even worse. So why did the reporter feel the need to dredge up a negative angle on SM? If he was writing about the joys of married sex would he feel compelled to find a marriage counselor to tell him about all the husbands and wives who credit marriage with destroying their lives? Of course not: because vanillas assume that married sex is a good thing and that sex problems in a marriage are unusual events; whereas they assume that SM is a questionable practice and that problems in SM are therefore, if not the norm, certainly a reasonable expectation.

Or how about this next article, whose title suggests that SM is all about pain (and thus suggesting its opposite, that you're not an SMer if you don't like pain). Holy crap. Didn't we all cover this in SM workshops years ago? If not, well I KNOW I covered it in my books.

Adventures in the world of pain

The orgy at the heart of the Max Mosley case wasn't just any orgy. It was an S&M orgy. Are sadomasochistic activities an 'affront to civilisation'? Or just part of a wide spectrum of acceptable sexual activity?

The latter.

And so this is why I always prefer reading about SM *by* SMers. We own our sexuality in ways no vanillas can begin to comprehend. We live it. We get it. It should our truths that tell the story of SM.

I'm not saying we should shut off this dialogue: I love the fact that people are now being forced to consider that even famous racing bosses from rich families shamelessly enjoy the slap-and-tickle, alongside rent-boys in leather chaps and the proper wives of British spies. I'm delighted Mosley's smashing stereotypes and demanding the right to do whatever-the-fuck-he-wants with consenting adults.

But unless and until we get media to quit promoting prejudice by writing from a base of ignorance about WIITWD and instead bring abroad people who actually know what they are talking about, people who are clueful to the breadth, depth, scope, diversity, and all-around infinity of permutations of SM personalities, I fear this dialogue will stumble along and re-enforce old prejudices for years to come.

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July 23, 2008 at 06:11 PM in Science and Culture, Sex and History, Sex and Sadomasochism, Sex Laws and Crimes, Sexual Politics | Permalink | Comments (0)

I've been following the strange tale of Max Mosley, the F1 racing boss allegedly caught doing Nazi play in an SM dungeon. The alleged part refers to the Nazi play; Mosley himself has openly admitted he engages in SM. In fact, I blogged a while back about how I admired his courage in choosing to openly admit to being a sadomasochist, not apologizing for it or making the vaguest attempt to deny his proclivities, instead fighting to keep his job (successfully) and suing the paper which published the story.

Mosley is particularly piqued about the claim that Nazi play was involved. Mosley -- the son of a notorious Nazi sympathizer -- clearly has an emotional stake in all this and seems determined to prove several points. First, that the paper had no right to violate his privacy; that their story contained lies; that consensual SM is acceptable; and, perhaps, that as the child of a fascist, he is pretty damn pissed off about being tarred with his father's sins.

Meanwhile, as if all the above wasn't wild enough, the story is filled with more twists than a corkscrew.

For one, turns out, Mosley was set up. For another, he was set up by one of the professional dommes who was there. For yet another, that prodomme happens to be married to a British spy. Leading to a whole LOT gossip about conspiracies and why a spy's wife worked as a dominatrix....leading to statements from the spy about how this scandal has destroyed his career and his life.

The MI5 officer who quit after his wife was exposed as a prostitute in a sadomasochistic orgy with Max Mosley has told for the first time how the affair has ruined their lives.

The spy was forced to resign after confessing he was married to the ‘professional dominatrix’, who secretly videoed the sex session with the F1 motor racing boss and sold details to a newspaper.

The former £30,000-a-year mobile surveillance officer – who tracked terror suspects – said he quit to spare his bosses embarrassment.

He would not discuss how much he knew about his wife’s involvement in setting up the sting against Mosley, or if he played any part.

MI5 officer whose wife was exposed as a prostitute in Max Mosley orgy says the ordeal has devastated their lives

But wait! There's more! It now appears his wife has either gone mad, or was mad in the first place, because she's just been declared too mentally unstable to testify.

The Max Mosley privacy case took a dramatic turn yesterday as the star witness failed to appear.

Woman E, a dominatrix, took part in a sado-masochistic session with the motorsport boss and four other women and secretly filmed it for the News of the World.

But yesterday the paper's QC told the High Court her 'emotional and mental state is such that it would not be fair or reasonable to call her to give evidence'.

Dominatrix who secretly filmed Mosley sex party is declared 'unfit' to face court

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July 23, 2008 at 04:47 PM in Post-Modern Pop Culture, Sex and Culture, Sex and History, Sex and Sadomasochism, Sex Laws and Crimes, Sexual Politics | Permalink | Comments (0)

The editor of SPANKED (and lots of other hot BDSM titles) tells reporter Eric Krangel about her recent experience with Internet censorship. While YouTube and Blip had no problems with her non-pornographic short, other sites considered them pornographic.

Nearly all online video sites (except those purpose-built for porn) have policies in place against uploading "adult" content. So what exactly qualifies as "adult"?

Based on Rachel Kramer Bussel's experiences, that depends on what site you're visiting....

"I wanted the video to appeal to as many people as possible, I wasn't making pornography."

Two of the sites disagreed. Within two hours, she got a note from Flickr:

As per our Community Guidelines, “restricted” video content is not allowed on Flickr . We’ve removed your video.

Vimeo followed a few hours later:

Your video 'Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica Book Trailer (1353209)' has been removed from Vimeo because it violates our policies. Vimeo does not allow porn....

.
read story

Check out Rachel's Books on Amazon

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July 23, 2008 at 04:00 PM in Sex and Sadomasochism, Sex On-Line, Sexual Politics | Permalink | Comments (0)

Perhaps the most ridiculous and too-stupid-to-take-seriously lawsuit everin the news comes from Greece, where three people who live on the island of Lesbos tried to get local courts to make it illegal for lesbians to call themselves lesbians.

Court rules lesbians are not just from Lesbos

A Greek court has dismissed a request by residents of the Aegean island of Lesbos to ban the use of the word lesbian to describe gay women, according to a court ruling made public on Tuesday.

Three residents of Lesbos, the birthplace of the ancient Greek poetess Sappho whose love poems inspired the term lesbian, brought a case last month arguing the use of the term in reference to gay women insulted their identity.

In a July 18 decision, the Athens court said the word did not define the identity of the residents of the island, and so it could be validly used by gay groups in Greece and abroad.

In other world news, three lesbians from the Isle of Man are petitioning the World Court to make it illegal for men to call themselves men.

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July 23, 2008 at 02:15 PM in Sex and Culture, Sex and History, Sex Laws and Crimes, Sexual Politics | Permalink | Comments (0)

To my mind, THE most fetishistic (and possibly most expensive) of the footwear designers on runways right now, Christian Laboutin's shoes makes me think he has a VERY serious foot fetish. I'll begin with some samples of shoes you can wear...and then a series he did for an art exhibition which are clearly nothing you could or would want to walk in...

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These are gorgeous to behold, but impossible to walk in.

I think of this one as the siamese-twin-shoe: the heels seem to be joined.

Mmmmm...

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I'm thinking that, off-camera, she's hanging on to something to keep herself from falling over.

Kneeling works, I guess!

Beautiful to behold -- but just to behold.

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July 22, 2008 at 05:21 PM in Post-Modern Pop Culture, Sex and Sadomasochism, Sexual Beauty | Permalink | Comments (1)

Wow, these shoes come with a girl in them.

And these come with a boy too. How convenient.

Maybe it's just me, but I think Gucci understands the mind of the dominatrix: or at least the aesthetic. Just looking at these next three makes me want to step on someone.

Grind him down...

Make him lick the tips of my toes....

Let him know I mean business. Very STERN business.

Made for a goddess!

So incredibly sensual...I wouldn't even need anyone else to enjoy them...

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July 22, 2008 at 04:47 PM in Post-Modern Pop Culture, Sex and Sadomasochism, Sexual Beauty | Permalink | Comments (0)

A few weeks ago, my slavey-thang (and official chauffeur) convinced me to squander a vast sum of money on a new pair of Prada eyeglasses. I desperately needed new glasses and it'd been ridiculously hard for me to find the time to go deal with it, so sensing an opportunity, Ketzel convinced me I *had* to have the BEST. I protested weakly, then tried on two dozen other pairs and was finally forced to agree that, yes, indeed, the highly fetishistic, faux snakeskin lined Pradas were DIVINE. Being an honorable wife, I figured I'd call Will just to prepare him for the price-tag. "Honey, do you mind if I spend $500+ on eyeglasses?" "Are you out of your mind?" he quietly asked. "Urm...Why yes! I am! Why pretend otherwise at this late stage of the nutty game?" So that sealed it. Besides, the devil wears Prada! Perfect.

Now I needed Prada shoes to match. And being the bargain-loving Jewess I am, I turned to eBay, home to ridiculously discounted designer goods, and promptly bid on a Prada dress (thanks to my slavey-boy in NY for subsidizing that one) and shoes (thanks to my clients for that--if knowing your therapist spends your money on high-end designer goods doesn't motivate you all to get healthy in a hurry, I don't know what willl). Of course, I will probably keep shoes and dress in a private shrine in terror that the first time I wear 'em my dogs will pee on them.

Anyway, shopping for shoes is not just a necessity for me but something of a sexual thrill. Oh, yes, I love the shoes, ladies and gents (and the handbags too). So in addition to shoes I would wear (I refuse to wear super-high heels), I got lost in shoe-lust gazing at models that, as far as I'm concerned, were meant to be kissed and licked, while your tooties are hoisted high, preferably on a bed.

Here are some of my fave Prada picks (and for those who don't know, Miu-Miu is a Prada line).

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The teacup handle -- to make drinking champagne from a shoe that much more elegant.

A little ankle bondage makes the world go round.

Inexplicably...I LOVE LOVE LOVE these. So Victorian/decadent.

Proving that sometimes, all that glitters can be gold.

Straaaaaaaaaaaaaaps. Lots and lots of little straaaaaaps.

These don't say fuck-me so much as oooh, intriguing. On the other hand, it does seem to signal "I'm a girl-who-likes-girls," which is always good for a little fuck-me traction.

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July 22, 2008 at 04:13 PM in Post-Modern Pop Culture, Sex and Sadomasochism, Sexual Beauty | Permalink | Comments (2)

Browsing some breezy site a little while ago, I noted that the blogger included a pic of what she called her "fuck me" shoes. My first thought upon seeing her skanky pair was she must go trolling at Wal-Mart.

But it set me to thinking: what makes a fuck me shoe a fuck me shoe? Improbably high heels? Glaringly bright hues? Straps and buckles? Should they be classy and expensive or is it more of a turn-on when they're priced right for a two-dollar whore?

I decided to surf around and create my own picture gallery of extreme shoes from some the world's most interesting and accomplished clothing designers. I think these shoes scream fuck me, though ymmv.

I'll break this into a few posts since, as you'll see, my shoe fetish got the better of me...

First up, a pair of shoes I found on (of all places!) Gizmodo, which they described as "the fuckiest fuck me shoes," though I think what they really liked was the gadget on the ankle.

What kind of a contortionist do you have to be to check the time yourself? Oh...I get it...it's the guy worshipping these wonder-booties that can keep an eye on the time. As in: "is the session over ALREADY, Mistress?"

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July 22, 2008 at 03:03 PM in Post-Modern Pop Culture, Sex and Sadomasochism, Sexual Beauty | Permalink | Comments (2)

Very encouraging new study about the wonder drug for men that suggests women may be able to take a Viagra to overcome the dampening effect that anti-depressants have on their libido. Let's hope more studies prove this true.

Viagra helps depressed women: study

The erectile dysfunction drug Viagra has proven effective at combating sexual dysfunction in depressed women, according to a study published Tuesday.

Sexual dysfunction is a common side effect of antidepressants and a major reason why people stop taking medication for their depression.

This is particularly problematic given that twice as many women as men are prescribed antidepressants but the most effective drugs used to combat sexual dysfunction in men are not approved for use in women, the authors wrote.

Researchers tested Viagra on 98 women whose depression was in remission but were still experiencing sexual dysfunction such as lack of arousal or pain during sex....

"By treating this bothersome treatment-associated adverse effect in patients who have been effectively treated for depression, but need to continue on their medication to avoid relapse or recurrence, patients can remain antidepressant-adherent, reduce the current high rates of premature medication discontinuation, and improve depression disease management outcomes," wrote lead author George Nurnberg of the University of New Mexico School of Medicine.

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July 21, 2008 at 07:01 PM in Sexual Health | Permalink | Comments (5)

Gloria: (attempting in vain to dislodge poodle from ass) Damn. This poodle is heavier than water. She's 20 pounds of pressure per inch. No wonder I wake up in the morning at the edge of the bed.

Will: Trust me, I know.

Gloria: How does she do that in her sleep? It's like she's being sucked by horizontal gravity.

Will: It's called the Coriolis Effect

Gloria: .....

Will: That's the physical phenomenon.

Gloria: For a minute I thought you said the Coriolanus effect.

Will: .....

Gloria: That's the Shakespearean play.

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July 21, 2008 at 06:23 PM in Autobiographical Urges, Pets and Animal Love | Permalink | Comments (1)

(psssst, quick! someone call the Christian Right! Not only is Mother Nature a pagan, she's a pornographer!)

And now, with serious apologies to Joyce Kilmer, ...

I think that I shall never see
a fuck-you finger on a tree.
A tree whose droughty roots despair
that anyone will give it care.
A tree that looks at men all day
and curses at them, "Go away!"
A tree that may in seasons wear
birdshit and garbage in its hair.
Upon whose branches smog has lain.
Who rightfully fears acid rain.
Bad verse is writ by twits like me.
But Nature made this fuck-you tree.

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July 21, 2008 at 04:59 PM in Pleasures of the Garden, Sexual Humor | Permalink | Comments (0)

Wow, I love this. I would definitely let little fishies nibble my toes. I'm guessing they munch up callouses? Anyone know?

I've heard of this fish helping people with psoriasis, but didn't know they helped healthy skin. Too cute.

Tracy Roberts, 33, of Rockville, Md. has her toes nibbled on by a type of carp called garra rufa, or doctor fish, during a fish pedicure treatment at Yvonne Hair and Nails salon in Alexandria, Va. on Thursday July 17, 2008.

So if you're a foot fetishist who's wondered "if I was reincarnated, what animal would I like to be?" the doctor fish could just be a perfect choice!

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July 21, 2008 at 04:00 PM in Pets and Animal Love, Sexual Beauty | Permalink | Comments (0)

OMG. An actual breath of sanity from the federal courts.

(Thanks to nightheron for this)

Court tosses FCC 'wardrobe malfunction' fine

A federal appeals court on Monday threw out a $550,000 indecency fine against CBS Corp. for the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show that ended with Janet Jackson's breast-baring "wardrobe malfunction."

The three-judge panel of the 3rd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that the Federal Communications Commission "acted arbitrarily and capriciously" in issuing the fine for the fleeting image of nudity.

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July 21, 2008 at 12:29 PM in Sex and Culture, Sex Laws and Crimes | Permalink | Comments (0)

Priceless. Religious right groups will stand up to vehemently protest a plastic doll in fishnet stockings...but when it comes to children getting assaulted and harassed by bullies...ehhh...nahhhh.

And what is their reasoning for shooting down a law to protect children? Because some victims might be gay and these paragons of morality don't want THEIR rights protected. Nope, the Religious Right wants to preserve their kids' freedom to beat the shit out of anyone they don't like.

N. Carolina bullying ban dies in committee

North Carolina legislation protecting schoolchildren from bullying died Thursday in committee, Raleigh's News & Observer reported.

"The failure of this bill to pass . . . sends a bad message," state Sen. Doug Berger told the Observer.

Ya reckon? Give that man the Understatement of the Year Award.

The controversy that prevented the bill from passing surrounded the addition of "sexual orientation" as a reason a student may face discrimination or bullying, the Observer reported.

The Christian Action League and the North Carolina Family Policy Council objected, saying that LGBT groups would use the bill as leverage for other rights legislation.

These bastards have the hair to call themselves a "Family Policy Council." Talk about hypocrisy.

So let me ask: When hate is a family value, is that family Christian?

(I hope some of you progressive/liberal Christians who read here will opine.)

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July 20, 2008 at 09:58 PM in Sex and Spirituality, Sexual Politics | Permalink | Comments (1)

On the off-chance you haven't yet seen this story (currently running all over the blogosphere....)

from Perez Hilton (who also added the "HO" to her jacket).

Introducing: Slutty Barbie

Looks like the people at Mattel are receiving some major backlash!

The toy makers have created a new Barbie doll which many are describing as the S&M Barbie.

The doll comes with black fishnet stockings, a black leotard, gloves, and boots.

S&M Barbie is being modeled after DC comic superhero Black Canary.

The Black Canary Barbie doll is scheduled to be released in September, but we'll see if that goes as planned.

Some are just outraged like the religious group Christian Voice, which said, “Barbie has always been on the tarty side and this is taking it too far. A children’s doll in sexually suggestive clothing is irresponsible – it’s filth.”

Love that quote from a group on the religious right...particularly in light of the next post I'm going to get up on the blog.

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July 20, 2008 at 09:42 PM in Post-Modern Pop Culture, Sex and Culture, Sex and Sadomasochism, Sexual Politics | Permalink | Comments (5)