Gloria's Oversexed Mind

Got milk?

Hang 'em low, girls

Not your average neck-warmers...

Hang 'em high, boys!

Thought I'd end a dreary Monday on a lively note with a few humorous images.

First, mmm-mmm-yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Monday brain-teaser: prison glory hole yields child

Can some engineer out there explain how this feat could have been accomplished? How big would his penis have to be to penetrate a concrete wall and still have enough sticking out to penetrate a vagina?

A sexologist needs to know such things! For clinical purposes only of course.

Turkish prisoners made hole in cell wall to produce third inmate

Two Turkish prison inmates who drilled a nine-centimetre (3.6-inch) aperture between their cells enabling them to have sexual relations in prison that produced a child, received four-month sentences for damaging public property.

Convicted murderer Seylan Corduk, 40, and Kadriye Fikret Oget, 27, serving time for planting a bomb in a market, managed to drive the hole through their concrete communal cell wall, according to court records quoted by the newspapers Vatan et Hurriyet....

Not your usual calf fetish

Well, at least he didn't have to slip off a wedding ring....

Man Accused of Having Relations With Cows

A 63-year-old man is charged with sexual gratification with an animal for allegedly having sex with calves.

Harold G. Hart, of Neillsville, allegedly told police that he routinely stopped at a Greenwood farm, usually after bar closing or on trips to strip clubs near Marshfield or Neillsville.

A criminal complaint filed in Clark County Circuit Court said the farm's owners installed a motion detector on Jan. 22 after regularly seeing footprints and vehicle tracks on their land. Around 4 a.m. the next morning, a sensor sounded and Hart was caught leaving the barn, but Hart allegedly said he just used a bathroom in the barn and had never been there before.

Hart told police he had sex with heifers before he went into the service in 1963 and resumed about a year ago at the farm. He admitted to using a rope to tie calves around the neck and estimated he had been to the farm "at least 50 times," according to the complaint.

He told police he never had sex with animals while maintaining a relationship with his a girlfriend or his wife....

Mrs. SlaveMaster (finally) no more

Astounding that the wife of John Robinson (the infamous "SlaveMaster" of Alt.com) took THIS long to divorce him. What was she thinking? "Oh, John killed a few girls--but he was such a good provider." Eeek.

And what are those "irreconcilable differences"--he likes to murder helpless women and she doesn't?!!

Wife seeks divorce from serial killer

OLATHE, Kan. - The wife of convicted serial killer John E. Robinson Sr. has filed for divorce, citing irreconcilable differences and incompatibility.

Robinson, 61, was convicted of killing three women in Kansas and five in Missouri.

His wife, Nancy, who filed for divorce Wednesday in Johnson County District Court, testified at his Kansas trial in October 2002 that she still loved her husband despite his numerous affairs and sadomasochistic sexual preference.

But more than 2 1/2 years after she asked jurors to show mercy on the man she described as a devoted father and grandfather she is calling it quits. The couple has been married for nearly 41 years and has four adult children....

Oscar highlight: Williams outs Bugs

Robin Williams' seems to be getting his chops back as a stand-up. His sharp social commentary at last night's Oscars were a hit.

Williams Animated Over Cartoon Furor.

Robin Williams gave new meaning to the term "tape delay" at the Academy Awards. Before presenting the award Sunday for best animated feature, he paused to rip a large piece of white tape off his mouth, then proceeded to mock those who connect cartoon characters with pro-gay messages.

The stunt appeared to confirm reports that producers had censored his gags. But after lighting on well-worn comic targets such as Viagra, Joan Rivers and Botox, Williams took on the culture wars:

"They tell me now that SpongeBob is gay. SquarePants is not gay. Tight pants maybe. SpongeBob Hot Pants? You go, girl!"

....Williams suggested that other cartoon characters through history also might have been gay — and he didn't spare Disney icons, although Disney-owned ABC was airing the awards show.

"What about Donald Duck? Sailor top, no pants. Hello?" Williams said. "Bugs Bunny. More dresses than J. Edgar Hoover at Mardi Gras....

Gold throne gives jeweler black eye

Hong Kong jeweller flushed out by tourism board

A solid-gold and gem-encrusted 4.8 million dollar toilet has been flushed from Hong Kong's tourism maps after staff at the jewellery store that made it were rude to customers, officials said.

The jeweller, 3D Gold, was struck off the Hong Kong Tourism Board's good service accreditation scheme after 41 people complained about the shop in the Kowloon district.

Staff at the store, which claims to attract 5,000-6,000 tourists each day to the pricey potty, were impolite and had tried to stop customers leaving, the organisation said....

PR love prank enrages doctors

Firm's Valentine Cards Spark Lovers' Tiffs.

A pharmaceutical company which sent anonymous Valentine's cards to Dutch gynecologists in a publicity stunt has been forced to apologize for sparking family arguments.

The doctors and their partners were furious with the company -- whose Web site says it mixes "the ingredients for health and happiness" -- after the firm sent cards saying "Now shall we tell everyone?," De Telegraaf newspaper reported Thursday.

A second card was dispatched to the 800 doctors the next day explaining that the first had been a gimmick to promote a new product.

In some cases, the cards caused so much distress that the company, Organon, sent apologetic bouquets of flowers, the newspaper said....

History of oral sex