Embuttulating

How come we don't have an English word for what the French so elegantly term "Enculer"?

From The Uncensored French Language:
"Enculer [from en- in and cul arse] vt to perform anal sex, bugger. Cf. foutre.
Va t'faire enculer chez les Grecs! Go get fucked up the ass by the Greeks!

Look how awkward the English translation turns out - "fucked up the ass" requires FOUR words - whereas in French you need only one. Is this because more Frenchmen get fucked in the ass that their culture and language developed a need for this word? Or is it because the English language (and its speakers) are so fucking repressed?

There is, of course, the British "buggery" and "buggering" - but it never came into common usage in the US. Indeed, I can assure you that if you called someone "a crazy bugger" down here in the American South (Georgia, to be exact), they will understand you mean that, bless his heart, he's a mess. Not for a moment would they suspect you were implying that he's an anal sex fiend.

Now when Mariangela Melato begged Giancarlo Gianini, "Sodomiza Mi!" (in the original Italian and only GOOD version of Swept Away ever made), we all knew she wanted him to fuck her in the ass. But in the U.S., and thanks to our innumerable sex laws, "Sodomize me" could mean "molest me" or "rape me orally" or even "let's have a consensual gay sex encounter," depending on the way your local legal minds have defined sodomy.

And while butt-fucking and ass-fucking are OKAY...well, they are not okay. They are compound words, best left to Orwellian nightmares. Moreover, the "fucking" part severely limits its usage. On the other hand, a pleasant word, without explicitly obscene syllables, would be ever so useful.

Like ...
Embuttulate
[from gloria's strange mind] (vt)

1. to stick something in someone's butt in a cruel and degrading fashion."Yeah, I gave that whining, sniveling sub just what he deserved. I embuttulated him till his eyes bugged out.

2. to engage in consensual anal sex. "Did you hear that John embuttulated Renaldo behind the warehouse last night!"

3. to dismiss someone harshly, to curse them out. "Go embuttulate yourself, you swine!" [Ed. See? Isn't that so much more melodious than "go fuck yourself in the ass, you swine?"]

Embuttulated (adj.)

Depressed or stressed; in a funk."He's been totally embuttulated since his girlfriend dumped him."

Beyond the point of repair. "Dude, your engine's embuttulated. Get a new ride."

Used, abused, and discarded. "Those Enron employees sure were embuttulated."

Ah, well. Just a linguistic pipedream, I know...but so it goes.