Drooool....

Bound and Gagged on Flickr.

October 31, 2007 in Sex and Sadomasochism | Permalink | Comments (0)

If you have a serious medical fetish, you should check out the Development of the Modern Cystoscope: An Illustrated History. It's available on MedScape, the go-to source for everything going on in the world of medicine. I do a lot of CME's (post grad training) in sexual medicine on-line with MedScape but you don't need credentials to join their free service. You'll need to sign up to see this exhibit but if you are keenly interested in medical devices, it's worth the effort to read up on how urological technology has progressed from the early days.

Here are a few photos to tease you - the article on MedScape contains many more. Now imagine being a patient in the late 19th and early 20th century, and having your doctor come at you holding this, preparing to stick it up your urethra and take a peek.

October 31, 2007 in Sex and History, Sex and Sadomasochism, Sex and Technology, Sexual Health, Sexual Science and Medicine | Permalink | Comments (2)

If you haven't fucked a feminist, then you've missed out on all the fun. At least, that's what a new survey claims.

Feminism boosts sexual satisfaction for both men and women, a new study suggests.

LINK

Hmmm...maybe if some of those right-wingers had feminists in their beds, they wouldn't get busted so much for going to hookers or cruising men's rooms in search of hot sex....hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

(Thanks to freddie for sending this in.)

October 31, 2007 in Sex and Relationships, Sexual Politics, Sexual Science and Medicine | Permalink | Comments (0)

Turns out that Karl Marx was wrong, and not just about Communism. Found this odd little scrap while doing some research (on something completely different, of course).

"The bourgeoisie will remember my carbuncles until their dying day." -- Karl Marx

So who, except possibly some savvy historians, remembers that Karl Marx had pimples? (Actually doctors now believe it was a rare condition which causes huge boils in the groin and armpits.)

Many a time I've wondered how self-image effects not only what we project into the world, but indeed how we see the world and how we perceive its possibilities. As a kid, one of my best friends had a desperately severe case of acne - a kind of acne you really don't see much anymore, thanks to antibiotics and other dermatological treatments. Acne ruled his life and made him a creepy character. He didn't enjoy being out in daylight so much as having friends over to his dim hidey-hole of an apartment. His intelligence fueled a dark and cynical sense of humor that could, without warning, turn vituperatively on any one who came near. He was smart enough to recognize other peoples' vulnerabilities and evil enough to exploit them. He had a remarkably attractive and worshipful girlfriend who he treated like crap, and a crew of devoted sidekicks over whom he reigned supreme, playing esoteric music for them and expounding on life like a guru while they listened and learned and mainly took an awful lot of drugs. Like him, they all felt like outcasts: and, like him, they got hooked on heroine to forget who they were.

I lost track of him after college and occasionally wonder if he ever got his shit together. Did he overcome his agony over the way he looked? Did it continue to shape his choices? I'd like to think he finally came to terms with his body and built a warmer, stronger life for himself. But maybe his self-hatred - or the drugs he took to forget how he looked - finally killed him.

Seems to me a lot of people experience small afflictions as overwhelming afflictions. I've known too many people who define themselves by their afflictions. As if the affliction was the first, if not only, thing other people noticed about them. People who go through life feeling inferior or angry or ashamed because they believe they are too fat, too skinny, too short, too tall, too pimply, too bald; because they have a limp or a cleft palate or a club foot or a foreshortened arm; because they believe, quite simply, that they are uglier than the rest.

When I was a little girl, my much older sister told me that when I was born, the doctor discovered that I had no nose. He snatched a potato and quickly sewed it to my face to replace the missing nose.

I was so little that I believed her. Since she repeated it over and again, I kept believing her for at least a year or two. I would climb up on the dresser to inspect my nose very carefully and see if it was well attached. It definitely looked like a potato: it seemed too round to be a real nose. I felt desperately ashamed of it. I hated my nose. It made me feel so homely. When a case of the chicken pox at age 6 left a tiny scar at the tip of my nose, I dreaded going outside, certain that the first thing people would see upon meeting me was a bulbous potato further deformed by a scar. I have no doubt that a lot of my bad choices and self-destructive behaviors in adolescence were, in part, the result of believing I was hopelessly ugly.

It took decades to shake that belief. When, at age 30, I found my favorite old doll in my parents' basement, I laughed and grieved all the same time to see the doll's nose. I'd forgotten that in a fit of inchoate childhood frustration, I had once taken a Bic pen to the doll's nose and colored it dark blue. Although the doll was made with what I would now call a button nose, as a child it was a potato that I had to destroy.

I can look at childhood pictures today and think, "wow, wtf, I was a cute little kid, how is it possible that my image of myself was so distorted?" But I guess I know the answer to that. When we perceive ourselves through our afflictions - whether real or imaginery - the mirror itself becomes distorted.

October 31, 2007 in Sexual Beauty | Permalink | Comments (0)

From colleagues at Sheffield University, UK, comes this request that kinky people take part in an important new study. I've emailed with the lead researcher, reviewed their academic statement and research missions, and believe this is a VERY worthwhile project.

If you have the time, please support their work and fill out the survey. It's ANONYMOUS.

If you have a blog, please feel free to spread word of this new study. It's studies like these that can, one day, change not only how the psychiatric and psychological communities see us but can lead to positive changes in sex laws as well.

G.

Participate in an on-line SM study

We are looking for volunteers to take part in an on-line questionnaire about sexual beliefs and interests, personality and lifestyle, including sadomasochism. A major aim of the questionnaire is to contribute to awareness of BDSM among mental health professionals and work towards reducing discrimination.

The questionnaire is completely anonymous.

Go there now: www.smsurvey.co.uk

Sheffield Clinical Psychology Research Team (Sheffield University, UK)

October 31, 2007 in Sex and Sadomasochism, Sex On-Line, Sexual Science and Medicine | Permalink | Comments (0)

from my friends at Skin Two...(though I added the shot of Dita, aka the former Mrs. Marilyn Manson She is soooo sizzlingly hot.)

Erotica 2007 is from November 23rd - 25th at Olympia in London, Visit Skin Two at this huge event, headlined by the legendary Dita von Teese.

Skin Two Magazine

Come and say hello at stand C8. Pick up the latest issue, take a subscription - and check out our fabulous range of fetish books! This is something entirely new - we have chosen a great selection of super quality pervy books from top publishers, including Taschen, Virgin Books and the Erotic Print Society, as well as selected titles from American and German publishers that are hard to find in the UK.

There's hot SM fiction from Virgin, by Stella Black and Leonie Martel. There are super arty Japanese photo books from Editions Reuss. From EPS, the range includes The Illustrated Book of Corporal Punishment. We have Laurence Gartel's The Art of Fetish. There are some lovely Taschen books on Bill Ward and Helmut Newton. Our imports from the USA include Midori's The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage, Michael Manning's powerful illustrations and several classics by the SM world's top writer, the legendary Patrick Califia.

We also have the collector's edition DVD of the best mainstream fetish film yet, Preaching to the Perverted. You're sure to find a great present for the perv in your life!

Skin Two Clothing

At Erotica this year, we're on stand C6, with our most recent rubber collection, Dirty ' n' Flirty. The range is made up of saucy separates, catsuits and hoods in pink, semi-transparent pink ad black latex. The flavour is flirty 'fifties housewife / trashy Las Vegas hussy. It's a stunning collection, oozing elegance and sex...

We'll also be showing our new range of severe leather, featuring beautifully crafted corsetry, catsuits, coats dresses and bodies, seriously pervy and surprisngly inexpensive. Needless to say, we will also have a wide range of rubber and PVC on display.

Visit Skin Two magazine
Visit Skin Two Clothing

All the information on Erotica

October 31, 2007 in Sex and Sadomasochism | Permalink | Comments (0)

October 30, 2007 in Sexual Humor | Permalink | Comments (1)

Thanks to Quill for sending this link to an article in the New York Times which parses the pop-cultural predilection for flaunting sexy underthings. The article's okay - but the photo of the purple pantied model is awfully hot for this publication. Maybe the Times is thinking of changing its slogan to all the panties that are fit to print.

"Lingerie items have become “display pieces,” said Stephanie Solomon, the fashion director of Bloomingdale’s....

According to NPD Group, the market research firm, sales of bras, panties, slips, corsets and even old-school relics like garter belts, climbed to $10.6 billion for the 12-month period ending in July, a 10 percent jump over the previous 12 months. Clearly, the category known quaintly as intimate apparel has climbed to the top of women’s shopping lists.

“What is really driving the growth of the business,” said Marshal Cohen, the chief retail analyst of NPD, “is that showing off your lingerie has become very much a fashion trend....

link

October 30, 2007 in Sex and Culture | Permalink | Comments (0)

From my email. Feel free to share it around.

Hi Friends!

This is the official call for submissions for the 2008 SWAS tour! Anyone who has worked in the sex industry is encouraged to apply: porn stars, strippers, escorts, dommes, webcam girls (and boys), hookers, etc. Spread this around, post it on your blog, tell everyone you know. And feel free to contact us with questions!

THE SHOW:

The Sex Workers' Art Show is a cabaret-style evening of visual and performance art created by people who work in the sex industry to dispel the myth that we are anything short of artists, innovators, and geniuses! The artwork and performances offer a wide range of perspectives on sex work. The show hopes through its diversity of viewpoints to move beyond "positive" and "negative" into a fuller articulation of the complicated ways sex workers experience our jobs and our lives. You can read more about the show at http://www.sexworkersartshow.com/.

WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR:

Sex trade workers are in a unique position to observe the freaky dynamics of capitalism, desire, ownership, gender, and race. We are looking for hilarious, disturbing, challenging, entertaining, accessible work that addresses these issues. Or, you know, whatever else. You don't have to be an experienced performer to apply! We're interested in a range of mediums- spoken word, burlesque, music, video and performance art of all kinds. It is important to us to include performers from all over the world: non-US residents are encouraged to apply!

THE DEAL:

The tour is happening late January through early March 2008. It hits approximately 30 cities nationwide, in a bit over a month. Venues will be varied, from small clubs and galleries to large theaters and college campuses. We'll be traveling in two new vans, staying in hotels. There will be eight performers, a technical director and road crew along. Pay is $3500/performer, plus lodging, transportation (including flights), and some meals. Staff will be provided to sell performers' merchandise.

SUBMITTING:

People who are working or have worked in the sex industry are invited to submit any kind of visual or performance art. Pieces should be no more than 12 minutes long. DEADLINE HAS BEEN EXTENDED! Please email info@sexworkersartshow.com for more information.

Thanks everyone! Please spread the word and forward this!

October 30, 2007 in Sex and Culture | Permalink | Comments (0)

Every once in a while, stories of these mysterious doll/mannequin lovers appear in the news. Again I don't understand why it should be a crime for someone to use an inanimate object as a jerk-off toy....although, okay, you're best bet is NOT TO GET CAUGHT DOING IT IN A PUBLIC SPACE. Sheesh.

A man was arrested after a government agent allegedly found him in an office building restroom lying next to an inflatable, anatomically correct doll with his pants down. Craig S. McCullough, 47, was charged Wednesday with indecent exposure, a misdemeanor.

The criminal complaint against McCullough says he was discovered in the public restroom by an agent for the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement Agency, which is one of the federal agencies that rents space in the Hach office building....

McCullough's criminal record includes a 2004 conviction for burglarizing Just For Me bridal boutique. Shortly after the burglary, police officers found McCullough in a nearby alley, carrying a mannequin wearing a bridal dress....

Toying with doll lands man in hoosegow

Image from fontplay

Kinda makes me teary eyed to think he stole a doll all dressed up as a bride. I wonder who he planned to invite to the ceremony.

October 30, 2007 in Sex Laws and Crimes | Permalink | Comments (0)

When I was a girl, and before I had access or funds for the store-bought sex toys I now enjoy, I would adapt whatever caught my fancy to use as a masturbatory toy. A shampoo bottle. An old-fashioned electric razor. One time, a doorknob --that was still on the door.

Thank God no nosy maids ever busted in. Because apparently if you masturbate with something that other people don't think you should be masturbating with, you could end up in a bizarre mess like this.

WTF? Was the bicycle under-age? What a miscarriage of justice to convict someone for jerking off in a weird but utterly harmless way.

A man has been placed on the sex offenders’ register after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle.

Robert Stewart was discovered in his room by two cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr, south west Scotland, in October last year.

On Wednesday Mr Stewart admitted to sexual breach of the peace in Ayr Sheriff Court, where depute fiscal Gail Davidson described how he had been found by the hostel workers.

She said: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

Man who had sex with bike in court

(Thanks to the various people who sent this one in!)

October 30, 2007 in Sex Laws and Crimes | Permalink | Comments (0)

At long last, after many long and grueling years of nonconsensual domination by that harridan, Blondie, Dagwood flees to Japan and finds comfort in the arms of a geisha. At least for now.

(Seriously, I have no idea where I found this.)

October 29, 2007 in Sexual Humor | Permalink | Comments (0)

Holy shit. Piercing her daughter's vagina was the "best" this woman could do? (Where's that interrobang when you need it!)

Naples mother acquitted in daughter's piercing

A Naples mother who had her 13-year-old daughter’s head shaved and private area pierced to prevent her from continuing to have sex was acquitted of child abuse charges Thursday.

A five-man, one-woman Collier Circuit Court jury deliberated roughly three hours before deciding the 39-year-old mother was not guilty of aggravated child abuse or child abuse, finding her actions didn’t involve punishment, malicious intent or cause permanent damage or disfigurement....

“You can now look at your children and say, ‘I did the best I can,’ “ jury foreman Colin Kelly told her, holding her hands as her eyes welled with tears. “This could happen to anyone.”

(Thanks to s. for sending this)

October 29, 2007 in Sex Laws and Crimes | Permalink | Comments (1)

Interrobang - The Greatest Punctuation Mark of All Time ‽

The interrobang (/ɪn'tɛrəbæŋ/) (‽) is a rarely used, nonstandard English-language punctuation mark intended to combine the functions of the question mark (also called the interrogative point) and the exclamation mark (known in printers' jargon as the bang). The typographical character is a superimposition of those two marks. The same effect is also frequently achieved by placing the exclamation point after or before the question mark; e.g., "How could you do such a thing?!"

Possible (written) SM usage:

Mistress: "Yes, I told you to jump. But how dare you land without permission‽"

Possible alternate SM definition:

Interrobang (vt): fucking at the end of a hot interrogation scene. Possible usage: "I'm going to interrobang you to tears when I unlock you from that chair."

October 29, 2007 in Sex and Sadomasochism | Permalink | Comments (1)

In this photo released by the Florida Keys News Bureau, Mark Friga of Rochester, N.Y., holds his dog Olivia while awaiting to compete in the WKEY Pet Masquerade Contest Wednesday, Oct. 24,

Link

October 27, 2007 in Pets and Animal Love | Permalink | Comments (0)

October 26, 2007 in Sex and Arts | Permalink | Comments (2)

October 26, 2007 in Sex and Arts | Permalink | Comments (0)

October 26, 2007 in Sex and Arts | Permalink | Comments (0)

October 26, 2007 in Sex and Arts | Permalink | Comments (0)

Ok, ok, I'm too depraved to keep you completely deprived. Instead of the show, I'll post a few exceptional gems from my file archives today so no one (including me) has to go without their Friday fix of enchanting imagery...

...and I wish I could say he's what's keeping away from the blog today...but ah alas....

October 26, 2007 in Sex and Arts | Permalink | Comments (1)

By Mithras Invicti

I'm back from Key West and Fantasy Fest, where your intrepid reporter was mostly rained upon (but I'll have a fuller description of the somewhat-disappointing trip later). For now, Jessica Valenti at feministing:

[I]f my hymen was made of diamonds, I would have turned it into a hot pair of earrings. And if it was just one huge diamond like the one above, I doubt I'd be able to walk, let alone fuck.

My hymen's made of diamonds. Has a certain ring to it, doesn't it? Sort of like, "See my vest, see my vest, made from real gorilla chest." Before you click through and read Jessica's post, play a little game and try to guess what the hell's she's talking about. Surgical revirginization for super-wealthy girls? The bizarre and tragic consequences of too much heat and pressure on the female anatomy if you wait to have sex too long?

-Mithras

October 26, 2007 in Mithras Invicti, Sexual Humor | Permalink | Comments (0)

Well, OOOOOOOOOOPS.

Looks like my planned Friday schedule just bumped into a few Friday realities - and I'm going to have to postpone this week's erotic art show! Sorry, everyone. All's fine, just too much off-line stuff going on today to be able to devote a few happy hours to the show.

Sorry about that. The Friday art extravaganza will return next week. I'll be running regular content today.

Gloria

October 26, 2007 in Sex and Arts | Permalink | Comments (0)

I just hope she lets me out for tomorrow's erotic art show.

October 25, 2007 in Sex and Arts | Permalink | Comments (1)

A new AOL/Ellen "America's best town" contest includes this tasty Florida eatery:

Link.

I so want that tee.

October 25, 2007 in Sexual Humor | Permalink | Comments (0)

Not my usual fare but this was an eye-opener and since size has become such an overriding obsession in our culture, along with all the diet Nazis gurus telling us what we can and can't eat, it seems more than relevant to anyone who thinks about weight. Which is basically EVERYONE these days, thanks to the hysteria in mainstream media about dangerous foods and low fat diets. Shout out to Mike for sending another fascinating link.

...one of the largest, longest and most expensive randomized, controlled, primary dietary intervention clinical trial in the history of our country was launched in 1993. This was to be THE study to end all studies and proponents believed it would finally prove the benefits of not just low-fat diets, but what has come to epitomize the government's very definition of “healthy eating.” According to the National Institutes of Health, it was "one of the largest studies of its kind ever undertaken in the United States and is considered a model for future studies of women’s health.” It was a major undertaking, costing $415 million and was conducted at 40 medical centers across the country. It was a well-designed and carefully conducted study and researchers were confident this would prove the rightness of eating “right.”

....Most of the study results were published at the beginning of last year, in a series of articles in the Journal of the American Medical Association.....

[Data showed] there was no difference in the incidences of breast cancer, colon cancer, heart attacks or strokes among those who ate “healthy” and those who ate whatever they pleased.......

from The big one — results of the biggest clinical trial of healthy eating ever

October 25, 2007 in Sexual Health | Permalink | Comments (0)

found on sexblo.gs

Once upon a time, no one really questioned what went on in men-only baths, though as this funky old photo shows, it was more than a little...well...GAY. Maybe once upon a time men weren't forced to ask themselves "am I gay?" at every turn. And maybe masculinity was not quite so confusing or difficult when men had the flexibility to enjoy a little same-sex whatever.

So I ask you: in today's age, would New York cops close this joint down? And book these guys as being lewd and lascivious and a bunch of other things?

I'm voting YEP.

Kinda sad.

October 25, 2007 in Sex and History | Permalink | Comments (1)

Haven't heard much about the Genitorturers since the 1990s - but back in the day, they were the top extreme SM performance/music artists. Looks like they're still kickin' it,, with their goth rock goddess Gen looking hotter than ever.

Here's some recent pix of posters, performances and other PR materials.

October 25, 2007 in Sex and Arts | Permalink | Comments (0)

Mmm. Pretty!

LINK

October 25, 2007 in Sexual Beauty | Permalink | Comments (0)

Well, um, to put it bluntly, this is some scary shit.

Woman stabs tied-up lover to drink blood

Does SSC apply to vampire sex?

October 25, 2007 in Sex Laws and Crimes | Permalink | Comments (0)

My friends at Frolicon in Atlanta (waving to RedWitch) are in full gear for their May 2008 event. They still have openings for presenters, staff volunteers, artists and performers. Now's the time to get involved as they will be starting their planning meetings soon. Meanwhile reservations are getting very close to sold out and their vendor fair is already filled up (though you can get on a waiting list at this point). So if you've ever been interesting in frolicking with fantasy-pagan-kink-loving funsters, check out this event and the kinky partner groups (Club 1763, Whippersnappers) that contribute to the festivities.

Frolicon Fall Update

October 25, 2007 in Sex and Culture | Permalink | Comments (2)

I don't usually think about men's rooms, and not just for the disgustingly obvious reasons. But what's always struck me as weirder than everything else about them is the urinal and most especially the public, exposed urinal. Why is that men who want a quick pee have to expose their genitals to other men? Isn't there something, like, strangely gay about it?

When I worked on Wall Street it always cracked me when I watched executives striding into the men's rooms together, emerging moments later as if they never broke their (dare I say) stream of conversation. I figured that they went in together, pulled their dicks out together, and pissed together, all the while pretending they were taking a stroll down Broad Street as they yapped.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with people peeing together or getting naked together but these were uptight homophobic WASP suits whose every button was always buttoned tight. I'm talking guys who wear suspenders on their socks and have suits tailored to keep their manly parts a total mystery. OK, so shoot me, I looked. Which brings me to that basic evolutionary psychology that governs our primal instincts, most specifically the instinct to peek.

We all do. A little peek here and there, whether it's to check out the competition or simply to grab a glimpse of a forbidden goody, it's the rare - and rigidly repressed - human being who doesn't do it. Most people will deny they do it - but they do. They're just very sneaky about it - so sneaky they may fool themselves. But it's human nature to peek and peer and rubberneck; and nature trumps manners. So you can count on it that there is a whole lot of peeking going on in men's rooms. Some of it open, some of it sneaky, and there's probably also a whole lot of men doing everything in their power NOT to peek, because they recognize the impulse and struggle manfully (one might even say homophobically) against it.

For as long as I've been alive, there has been no female equivalent of the bathroom pissing party. Every women's bathroom is comprised of cubicles. The sex that so often is teased for having sudden urgent needs to pee is, when it comes to restrooms, cruelly denied the quick relief of a public urinal. Instead, they line up with other twitching, fidgeting ladies for rights to a tiny smelly compartment, when really, all we want is a quick place to squat and go AHHHHH.

I guess we're supposed to assume that women have a greater need for bathroom privacy than men and thus we deserve to do our business in private cubicles at all times. And, while it's true, that a menstruating woman might prefer a greater level of privacy, fact is, everyone is entitled to - or should be entititled to - bathroom privacy. I know some men who never use public urinals. Some because, for health or other reasons, are more comfortable sitting; most are just not comfortable around a stranger's nudity, much less his urine.

It's either a basic human right that applies to both sexes or it isn't. We certainly assume that bathroom privacy is a right in our homes. Yet most men have the privacy option drilled out of them from boyhood on - in school bathrooms, gym lockers, public bathrooms, military quarters. The same kid who is shamed into locking the bathroom door every time he goes to the toilet at home, who grows up reserving nudity for sex or bathing only, the same guy who believe homosexuality is wrong or who can only have sex with the lights off, still joins a naked pissing contest when he enters a rest room. Even if he opts for a cabinet, he still has to walk past a row of men grunting and splashing and worse.

Now that cops are making it a habit of cruising men's rest rooms in search of potential gay molesters, might it not it be a good time for planners to rethink how men's rooms are built in the first place? If you want to discourage public acts of homosexuality, shouldn't you start by eliminating places where a bunch of men pull out their dicks in front of one another?

Just saying.

image snagged from here.

October 25, 2007 in Sex and Culture | Permalink | Comments (2)

These are crimes in Canberra?

An Australian barmaid has been fined for crushing beer cans between her bare breasts while an off-duty colleague has been fined for hanging spoons from her friend's nipples....

Link

Maybe someone should show this to Blondie at the Clermont.

October 24, 2007 in Sex Laws and Crimes | Permalink | Comments (1)

In the case of the G-Shot, medical science has yet to confirm that the G-spot has any sexual powers in the first place. What is known is that a blob of tissue that may or may not have nerve endings running through to the clitoris may or may not be situated somewhere between the pelvic bone and the cervix along the frontal vaginal wall. Suggest any doubts to Dr. Matlock and he'll look at you as a 5-year-old might had you just swiped his favorite toy.

"Does God exist?" he asks, his voice tightening, his round brown eyes growing rounder. "Some people say no, but I know otherwise. The G-spot is absolutely real."

from: Women aim to pump up sex lives with surgery

Uh-huh. And I believe that fruit-flies suck my soul dry at night and leave me feeling soulless in the morning. The science isn't there to prove it. But I believe! I believe! And if I could figure out a way to make money by my belief, I'd never question my belief because this is America, where profits validate everything.

ARGH.

As a sex therapist, I WISH there were simple mechanical solutions to important psychological complications, like why people (male and female alike) struggle with orgasms. As competent sex doctors know, most female sexual problems are not organic (i.e., the result of a physiological issue) but psychological (i.e., the symptom of an emotional conflict). In most cases where there are underlying physiological issues in female orgasm the women also have numerous other symptoms - basically what you would expect if someone's hormones are suppressed or low. Vaginal dryness, change in skin texture or increased hair-growth are simple signs. Quick rule of thumb: if you can feel aroused, and you can get wet, and especially if you can climax from masturbation, chances are your orgasm issue is an emotional issue, not a physical issue.

That doesn't mean a little extra boost isn't cool. If they ever come up with the female equivalent of Viagra, and assuming it doesn't carry too many risks, I'd be thrilled to recommend it. But women are going to extremes in search of not simply elusive goals but non-existent ones.

Even the strongest proponents of the "miracles" of the Grafenberg spot , like Dr. Beverly Whipple, have backed off their claims in recent years. None of the studies which have labored to prove it have held up to scientific scrutiny. Indeed, most competent sex therapists don't want to get lost in the morass that is the G-spot because, quite simply, nobody knows if it plays any role in orgasm or female ejaculation. Except, of course, for quacks who BELIEVE and all the suckers who believe in their belief and get dubious medical interventions for which they pay huge bucks. My guess is the only real benefit is psychological. As in "Oh, now that I had an injection, I can have great orgasms" and woo, what a surprise, the person who was all anxious and uptight about orgasms, now equipped with the magic fairy dust of an orgasm "cure," suddenly gets orgasmic.

If I had a sugar pill I gave patients with the guarantee it'd cure their orgasm problems, I am willing to bet that a percent of them would report back that it worked. If I sold such a pill on the Internet, I would get rich. People who didn't need a pill - just needed the belief that the pill gave them - would be declaring me a genius. People who were not in the least bit helped by my pill would be too embarrassed to admit it, and would assume the problem was them, not the pill. I'd get to keep their money.

BELIEVE! BELIEVE!

Anyone want to buy some soul-sucking fruit flies?

October 24, 2007 in Sexual Health | Permalink | Comments (0)

So if you're a man and you've got to choose: get hard or go deaf - what would you choose?

Medical literature is reporting that men who take Levitra, Cialis or Viagra, are at risk of sudden deafness. Scientists aren't yet sure whether it's the drugs causing the deafness, or if the drugs aggravate underlying issues with hearing, but either way, not good news. Common sense dictates that if you know your hearing is a problem, and you've been taking (or are thinking of taking) ED drugs, you should get your hiney to your doctor ASAP and assess your risk. 33% of the cases studied were only temporary - but the potential for permanently trading hard-ons for hearing is not something to take lightly.

By the way, this news is super-current. Your prescribing doctor may not yet be aware of it. My advice: Print out the article and bring it with you if you plan to discuss this with your doctor. Some docs are fine at writing you scrips but lousy when it comes to actually talking about sex medicine so be your own best advocate and be prepared.

Erectile Dysfunction Drugs Linked to Risk for Hearing Loss

Sudden loss of hearing has been reported in patients taking phosphodiesterase 5 (PDE-5) inhibitors, the US Food and Drug Administration warned healthcare professionals yesterday.

In some cases, the sudden loss or decrease in hearing was accompanied by vestibular symptoms such as tinnitus, vertigo, and dizziness....

The warning was based on 29 postmarketing cases that occurred in a strong temporal relationship to dosing with sildenafil (Viagra, Pfizer, Inc), tadalafil (Cialis, Lilly ICOS, LLC), and vardenafil (Levitra, Bayer Pharmaceuticals Corp), which were taken for the treatment of erectile dysfunction. Other cases were also reported during clinical trials.....

October 24, 2007 in Sexual Health | Permalink | Comments (1)

About a year ago, one of my clients who had issues with alcohol (not a full-blown addict, but enough so that it was causing a lot of tension at home), was told about a new drug that might help beat the cravings. It seemed like a long-shot - sobriety in a pill? - but it was worth trying. I had a long conversation with the doc who'd recommended it to my client and he swore by it, saying that while the data was not all there yet, he'd seen miraculous improvements in people with addictions. Within a few months, my client confirmed his belief - the alchol craving was gone, the compulsion to drink any time a bottle was present gone too.

When I saw this article the other week, I thought "HMMM, I guess the data's coming in!" So for anyone struggling with addiction or close to someone who is struggling, it might be worth talking to your personal care physician about the pros and cons of trying Topamax to help beat down the demon.

Epilepsy drug may help alcoholics kick the habit: study

An anticonvulsant drug prescribed for epilepsy seizures and migraine headaches may help alcoholics kick the habit by helping to wean them off the booze, a study released Tuesday suggested.

The study showed that with the help of the drug Topamax, heavy drinkers were able to reduce their alcohol intake and increase the number of days they were completely sober in a matter of 14 weeks.....

October 24, 2007 in Science and Culture | Permalink | Comments (0)

Interesting reading if you've ever wondered what it'd be like to operate a dungeon, or simply are curious about what goes on behind a pro dungeon's walls.

BDSM as business: An interview with the owners of a dungeon

This is the first of a two part series examining the BDSM business. This interview focuses on the owners of a dungeon, what they charge, what the clients are like and how they handle their needs.

October 24, 2007 in Sex and Sadomasochism | Permalink | Comments (0)

(BTW, please note all the "bread kneading" paw action. They are even cute when they are EVIL!)

found on:
Cute Overload! :)

October 24, 2007 in Pets and Animal Love | Permalink | Comments (0)

“This is civet!” Guichard announced. Civet is a fundamental French perfume material, a historic girder of the industry and the quintessential scent of France. It happens to come, Guichard said pleasantly, “from the anal gland of the civet cat.”

The consultant stared at him. “What?” she said.

“Well, a sexual gland,” said an amused Guichard, who then hit a button on his computer. The large plasma screen behind him showed us a picture of civets. They look like house cats who’ve been painted to look like zebras. He explained that the perfume material from the anal gland is found in both males and females. And it smells — quite simply — like anus.

“This is in perfume?” asked the marketer doubtfully.

“Absolutely,” said Guichard. “My father was testing it. They were using small blotters, and they were scooping out the cream —”

“It’s a cream?”

“Yes, and my father was tasting it. Rolled the cream around in his mouth.”

Dead silence. People stared at their blotters, which were emitting the strong, persistent smell of dirty underwear.

“And then he was going home and kees my mother,” Guichard added, grinning. He made a kissing motion.

“Well!” said the marketer brightly. “Perfume made of butt cream!”

Meow Mix - New York Times

And here I thought that civet coffee was bad.

The article goes on to say

....not only do the prewar classics like Chanel No. 5 and Shalimar have civet in them, but it’s also in such recent scents as Musc Ravageur.

Talk to any perfumer, even American ones, and they’ll say that civet, used in tiny quantities, breathes astonishing life into perfumes, giving them weight and depth. Civet is like adding whole cream to soups or sauces ...

Now I find myself having one of the most disturbing thoughts of my life: what makes civet ass so tasty?

October 23, 2007 in Sexual Beauty | Permalink | Comments (1)

Sugasm #102

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #103? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

She Told Me
She told me she had a headache.

Fantasy: If you cant stand the heat
You set the ice cube down and force my legs apart.

Sugarbutch Star: Bad Bad Girl
I brought my lips down on hers hard, crushing, devouring, insistent.

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Upskirt Video from V Magazine

Editor’s Choice
Blog Action Day: Sexual Activism or Lightning Doesn’t Strike Twice

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

October 23, 2007 in Sex On-Line | Permalink | Comments (0)

The dummy is me, actually. Saw this on Gawker, where they're advertising the return of a t-shirt so popular it apparently sold out (unless it's just a marketing ploy to make people think it sold out and therefore incite a hunger for the "new batch," because "ooo, it must be popular, I should have one too" - - - but I wouldn't be that cynical, nuh-uh, not me).

Anyway, here's the tee.

And I'm wondering...ok. It's a pun on touche, har har, with a little snark thrown in. I guess. I don't know. I don't really get it. Is it an inside joke, something regular readers immediately get? Maybe everyone who reads Gawker goes in for fencing...but that doesn't make sense. So, what, is this, like, a clever pun? Cuz I'm scratching my head. Do you wear that shirt to let other people know you think they're douches - or are you making a statement about yourself?

God it makes me feel old when I look at something that's supposed to be funny and which I suspect has some sort of neo-pop-cultural meaning I'm too ancient to have picked up on. On the other hand, I remember looking at the Sunday funnies when I was kid sometimes and completely failing to see what was funny about them either. So maybe this is the funniest hippest t-shirt on the planet and I'm just too nerdy to get it.

Back In Stock: Douché and Quietly Judging Back in Stock

October 23, 2007 in Sexual Humor | Permalink | Comments (0)

Strangely, and interestingly, there's no explanation of who this is or why he's doing it. All it says is spiked!

October 23, 2007 in Post-Modern Pop Culture | Permalink | Comments (1)

Bad boy, bad boy, whatcha gonna do?

Benjamin Davis, 23, is charged with running S&M parties. Actually, the charges are keeping a house of ill fame for lewdness, lending or selling articles for self abuse and, for good measure, assault on a police officer. Davis lives with his mother, who admits she was "stunned" to learn he "may be" involved in "the sadomasochistic scene." Davis had allegedly been holding parties every two weeks for six months, and when the Hudson, N.H., police raided a recent party they "discovered about 55 men and women in various stages of undress along with whips, chains and other paraphernalia." But, she said, he is her son: "I'm proud of him. But the other part of me wants to spank him." (Hudson Sun)

...Randy says: That may be what got him started in the first place.

link

October 23, 2007 in Sex Laws and Crimes | Permalink | Comments (2)

October 23, 2007 in Sexual Beauty | Permalink | Comments (0)

Holy cow - what's making the monkeys so mad?

(Thanks to my ketzl for drawing my attention to the mad monkeys.)

New Delhi official dies after monkey attack

The deputy mayor of the Indian capital New Delhi has died after being attacked by wild monkeys at his home....

In case you're wondering what kind of damage a monkey can do, check out this pic Jungle Friends Primate Sanctuary - the result of a bite from a the much smaller (usually less than 3 lbs.) capuchin.

October 23, 2007 in Pets and Animal Love | Permalink | Comments (0)

October 22, 2007 in Sexual Humor | Permalink | Comments (3)

Yiddish, as has often been noted, is a language filled with deep visceral emotion and philosophical meaning that goes beyond the words themselves. Its richness is not in its vocabulary so much as in its soulfulness. Basically, if you had to invent a language for a long-oppressed people, Yiddish would be it. With only a few words, or sighs, or blessings, or curses, an entire conversation can take place. I hate to see it die. But I'm happy that my childhood was filled with Yiddish-speakers. My father was a fountain of curious Yiddish phrases and expressions, and taught me enough so that I can still, albeit haltingly and clumsily, have a basic Yiddish conversation with strangers or listen to a Yiddish radio broadcast without getting too ferblunjered. I mean, er, lost.

From my father I learned that when something was flimsily made, not up to snuff, it was "shpinghy-de-ghinghy." On the other hand, something that was solid, substantive, something that was true and reliable was "de rhichtike fiffike sroyra" (loosely translated, the "correct genuine fabric") and very similar to our own English "the real thing." Objects could be described that way; so could a person.

When things got crazy - whether it was a wild party, a hullaballoo, a fight, a celebration, or anything else that involved a lot of people running around - the entire gamut of chaos and emotion was summed up with "S'titsich." (Roughly translated, "it's going on" or "it's happening.") If the stores are so crowded before the holidays that your head starts pounding; if your neighbors are having a fiesta in the backyard and shaking their maracas; if your mother's screaming at your brother because he's 48 and still lives at home; if the emergency room is overflowing with the walking wounded...all you have to say is "it's going on" and the full weight of its meaning will hang heavily in the air. And while you might think that the only thing worse than "it's going on" is to add, "on the table and on the bench" (as in the Yiddish expression, "s'titsich oyfn tisch und ofyn benk") this extra flourish could inject some much-needed humor into the situation with its absurdist overstatement.

I particularly loved the old Yiddish curses. My favorite one is "May you grow like an onion, with your head down and your feet up!" (which is a whole lot funnier in Yiddish, because it has a number of hard, biting sounds but too big a pain to transliterate).

Another old favorite, much easier to transliterate is "gey cockn oyn yahm" which urges the object of one's contempt to take a shit in the sea.

And why the hell am I talking about all this? Because when Mike sent me this (thanks, Mike!), my first thought was that it looked like some Lost Tribe of Israel someplace had a real Jewish sense of humor about that curse:

from Gadling.

October 22, 2007 in Autobiographical Urges, Sexual Humor | Permalink | Comments (0)

Every now and again, when I think about so-called Conservatives who want to go back to so-called traditional values, I am reminded of those fine American values I was raised on. For example, the traditional ways that men viewed women as property. Or how men once talked about women as prey with winks and leers, a social style that was considered worldly and bon vivant.

People may want to pretend that they were hideous anomalies but, no, in fact, porn entrepreneurs Hugh Hefner and Larry Flynt are products of the Heartland (Illinois and Kentucky, respectively), as American as apple pie and as surrounded by profound sexual repression as the rest of the Midwest in the 1940s and 1950s, that so-called golden time that today's conservatives speak of so worshipfully.

America's two most visible perverts were not the children of Right or Left Coast liberals, the ones who are always accused of trying to lead the country astray with decadence and depravity. Hefner's parents were Nebraska farmers; Flynt grew up in poverty in the hills of Kentucky. What do you want to bet that when Flynt was nine years old and, by his own admission, fucking a chicken, that he was still scrubbing up for Sunday school and singing songs about Jesus?

Let's never forget what the real traditional values were - or that they are the product of sexual repression.

Visit this link for a graphic reminder - VintageGirlwatchers.com

October 22, 2007 in Sex and History | Permalink | Comments (0)

According to this Canadian news site, the Mr Leather competition is drying up in North America. Can it be true? Will the world of leather competitions eventually vanish? By the end of the 1990s, it seemed like every major city in the US and Canada was hosting leather contests. The interviewee below suggests that the cause is the fall-out from the mainstreaming of BDSM but that doesn't really make sense. After all, if more people are into this world, you'd think that traditional businesses and events which support this world be benefiting from the boom. Nor do I buy the idea that because there are more and more mainstream/middle-class people involved in BDSM, there is less of an interest in conferences and conventions.

Obviously there are huge differences between today's BDSM population from the one of 20, even 10 years ago. Without doubt, the Internet has had the single most significant role in defining and redefining kink, and in spreading a mainly positive message about consensual, pleasure-seeking BDSM. The Internet also makes hook-ups easier and more practical than trolling events and clubs, the traditional way of finding someone to play with. Indeed, some gay friends have told me the gay bar scene is dying because of the Internet: on-line cruising is safer, faster, more efficient, and cheaper than taking your chances at a bar.

Perhaps the problem isn't the audience itself, its size, or even its distribution. I figure there are probably just as many hardcore sadomasochists as there always were, just far greater numbers of people either acting on needs they would previously repress, or, conversely, vast numbers of semi-vanillas who curious about experimenting with some of the flavors of BDSM.

Perhaps the problem is that leather conferences are having a hard time staying relevant to the shifting trends in BDSM. For example, I think as a community we've gotten to a point where some of the old models of BDSM education don't quite meet people's needs anymore. Yes, it's fabulous to do demos and show new people our old bondage/whipping tricks. But when the room is filled with people who can't make SM relationships work, or who are struggling with balancing BDSM and a semi-vanilla life, picking up a few tips on the best way to throw a single-tail may not be the most burning issue in their minds.

It'd be a shame to see leather contests become extinct. The sense of community and unity in those seas of black leather is exhilarating. The contests themselves, at their best, are fun-filled talent shows where you can see weirdness of a kind that makes you happy just to get a chance to witness it. But I think that if contest and BDSM conferences want to survive a changing population of BDSMers, and keep a core of committed pervs coming back year after year, they will have to think outside the box. Perhaps come up with new courses and new tracks, change formats, eliminate events that never did well in the first place, focus more on what attendees want out of an event and less on "how it's always been done."

It's what every business has to face in a changing world market and people who are in the business of contests will either find a way to keep up or more and more and more of them will go bust.

from Xtra

....It's part of a general North-America-wide trend of declining interest in leather titles, says Murray Lavigne of the Ottawa Knights, an Ottawa leather group with a 30-year history in the city.

"People seem to be less into the traditional leather lifestyle of the '60s," says Lavigne, but that doesn't mean they're any less kinky.

The trend indicates that more people are adopting leather and BDSM (bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, sadism/masochism) as "play" aspects of their lifestyle, says Murray, instead of going whole hog, so to speak.

October 22, 2007 in Sex and Sadomasochism | Permalink | Comments (0)

Well this sounds like a dream job, doesn't it?

from the good people at Durex...

How many people can you name who don’t like their jobs? Chances are you could probably name a few.

Well, it ends today because Durex has a new job that is anything but mundane: condom tester. No joke, Durex is looking for a few good men and women (U.S. residents 18 and older) to volunteer for the position. In all, 1,000 people will be picked and interested parties need to register by Nov. 4. One lucky tester also will be rewarded a $1,000 cash prize.

To join in the fun, log on to http://durexcondomtester.com/.

Oh yeah, be sure to tell your friends.

October 22, 2007 in Sexual Health | Permalink | Comments (0)

from Overheard in New York

Only because It's Our Safe Word

Little boy pointing at mannequins: Bitch!
Mother: Hey! Didn't I tell you not to say that word? It's a bad word!
Little boy: That's not fair! You never yell at Daddy when he says that to you!

--Macy's, Herald Square

October 21, 2007 in Sexual Humor | Permalink | Comments (0)

Students in America's schools are groped. They're raped. They're pursued, seduced and think they're in love.

An Associated Press investigation found more than 2,500 cases over five years in which educators were punished for actions from bizarre to sadistic.....

Link.

October 21, 2007 in Sex Laws and Crimes | Permalink | Comments (0)

And this is why it's so important to negotiate before signing any contracts....

October 20, 2007 in Sexual Humor | Permalink | Comments (0)

Thanks to Mitch for sending this in.

October 20, 2007 in Sexual Humor | Permalink | Comments (0)

Ok, all you depraved Harry Potter Fans! Here's something to chew on. J.K. Rowling has just disclosed that Albus Dumbledore is gay. His tragic gay love for a bitter rival has left him a lonely man. So lonely, and so closeted, he didn't just date a beard: he grew one.

An aside: I note that Dumbledore's bio on Wikipedia is as long as the one for Kofi Annan. A minor fictional character in a contemporary children's book takes up as much encyclopedia space as the former head of the United Nations. Er, errrr.....too disturbed now to compare the bio on Mother Goose with the one for Mother Theresa....

October 20, 2007 in Sex and Culture | Permalink | Comments (3)

Thanks to Mike for sending the link to TimeLock, a chastity site which takes the pain out of finding the elusive "key-holder" by offering a technological solution.

October 20, 2007 in Sex and Technology | Permalink | Comments (1)

They say there's something out there for everyone.

This site is for people with a retro-sex-kitten-with-funky-old-typewriter-and-fetishy-shoes-and-stockings fetish.

from
www.typewritermuseum.org

October 20, 2007 in Sex and History | Permalink | Comments (1)

Details of the Oral Roberts U scandal are oozing faster than fat from a pork barbecue, despite silence from mainstream, right-wing, and Christian media on precisely the kind of dirt they'd be dishing...IF it was a liberal organization.

Very few national media groups are covering the story, while local media sources are burying the info about Mrs. Roberts in the last paragraphs. The New York Times acknowledges her role up front but gets all prissy about revealing the tasty details. Conservative pundits and neocons are pretending it isn't happening and even Christian news organizations, such as the Christian post, are focusing on Richard Roberts' "lavish spending," if they cover it at all.

Out of curiosity I did a search under "Oral Roberts" on Drudge - two off-site links to the old AP story pops up. Then I did a search under "Lewinsky." Wow, Drudge has kept a close eye on her all these years - from what she had to say when Bill Clinton published his memoir to following her career in graduate school. Right there ON Drudge.

What's more relevant: where Bill Clinton's former mistress is currently attending grad school - or that the future of a prominent Christian university is in peril because of allegations of financial improprieties and sexual misconduct?

If the charges are true, Lindsey Roberts is a SEXUAL PREDATOR and CHILD MOLESTER. Curious that no one seems to be interested in the fact that she may be a PEDOPHILE who has preyed on underage boys.

I mean, SERIOUSLY. The Catholic Church didn't get off so easy, did it? Imagine if anyone got a whiff of some liberal Harvard male poobah making a habit of seducing underage girls by spending university funds to procure her and using his political power to bully everyone into silence about it.

Thank God for the liberal blogosphere.

From watchingthewatchers.org:

Oral Roberts University: The Next Conservative Scandal

.... the wife of the University President, Lindsay Roberts...allegedly "spent the night in the ORU guest house with an underage male on nine separate occasions," was photographed alone in a car with the same male after the citywide curfew for minors unaccompanied by a parent, had the same male in her house often enough that her daughters requested special locks for their bedroom doors, and had a longtime University employee fired so that the underage male could take his job.

The second of those misbehaviors is that the university hired as a "mentor" for students a "convicted sexual deviant" who was then given "unrestricted access to students" while serving in his mentor position.

The University President, Richard Roberts, just requested a leave of absence from his University position, though he will continue in his role as chairman and chief executive of Oral Roberts Ministries.

And don't for a minute think that all the dirt has been exposed yet.....

October 20, 2007 in Sex and Spirituality, Sex Laws and Crimes | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sex demons. You know what they are. Some people see them as vampires or vampyres, who sneak into peoples' bedrooms late at night to suck their life force. In classical myths, they appear in the form of a Succubus - an overpowering female demon who lies on top of a sleeping man and forces him into sex - or her male counterpart, Incubus, who victimizes women with his diabolocal lusts.

The apocryphal Lilith and her apocryphal children, the Lilin are, in some myths, sex demons who tempt and corrupt. Judeo-Christian mythologies have many different names and personae for Satanic beings who sexually prey on hapless humans.

Why do so many cultures have sex demons? The myth of the demon lover is hardly limited to the West. The belief in a sexually devouring creature from another spiritual dimension is pan-cultural. The chief differences between the demon lovers of one religion and those of another religion or place or culture are mainly in the shape they take (some are serpents, some are bats, some resemble gargoyles, some are divinely beautiful, some are hideous monsters), the names we give them, and the stories we tell about them.

The demon lover is, I suspect, a universal myth because it represents one of the deepest mysteries of sexuality. The phenomenon of lust. And I suspect the demon exists sometimes in its most brutal and diabolical forms in cultures and religions which frown on sex. I haven't done the research to support the theory that the more sexually repressed a culture, the more likely it is to believe in sex demons....but if you know someone who has, I would be beyond thrilled to read it.

Many years ago, I had a strange and perhaps strangely demonic dream. I knew it was just a dream. I also knew it was something else, something that went much deeper.

The Rape

I dreamt that you trapped me
in a room. You swore that, by the end,
you'd possess every part of my body
in every conceivable way,
frightening and exciting me.
You gave me no choice, no options
for resistance, no escape. My belly
was your bed, you anointed me
with sweat, rocked me in the cradle
of your legs. I burned, I wept.
All my mad destructive longings
made flesh from random words.
I was pierced. Like St. Teresa.
Yet even in my dream you left.

--@gloria g brame

And now on to the show. I'm mixing it all up, with new art and old art included - from the middle ages right up to contemporary art, most of them quite gorgeous works of art.

I'll start with a couple of classic images of Lilith. I'll end with a few wonderfully kitschy commercial illustrations (a pulp magazine and movie posters). It's cheese. But it's cheese that will (I hope) please.

October 19, 2007 in Sex and Arts | Permalink |