There have been some charmingly twisted oddities in the news lately. Obviously, with the financial markets collapsing, the country's most historic election occurring, soldiers still dying in Iraq and Afghanistan, rampant corruption in Washington, species vanishing and glaciers melting, the media knows just what stories require the most urgent coverage.
I bring you, via our vital public servant, the world-wide media, two of the stories that have received the most attention this week, and reveal each one's secret spiritual meaning. Think of 'em as your Halloween 2008 Zen lessons.
BORDEAUX, France (AFP) – A Frenchman became trapped while trying to fish his mobile phone out of the toilet on a high-speed train, forcing firefighters to cut through the U-bend to free him, passengers said.
"He came out on a stretcher, with his hand still jammed in the toilet bowl, which they had to saw clean off," said Benoit Gigou, who witnessed Sunday's rescue....
The service was delayed for two hours after the 26-year-old victim, hunting for his lost telephone, fell prey to the powerful suction system which drains the loos on board.
Zen Lesson #1: You may fish without a hook, but you will not catch anything without a brain.
Customs inspectors scored the makings of a barbecue when a 21-year-old South Texas woman declared several soiled baby diapers at a U.S.-Mexico border crossing.
Suspicious of the chunky diapers, inspectors with U.S. Customs and Border Protection at the international bridge in Hidalgo found several links of spicy pork sausage, or chorizo, inside. The diapers had been folded to look soiled, according to a customs agency statement.
The Mission resident, who was not identified after the Friday night incident, was fined $300 and her chorizo was seized.
Zen lesson #2: No matter where you go, make sure your shit is real.