When I was an impressionable young 7th grader at John J. Pershing in Brooklyn, a substitute sitting in for our biology teacher showed up one day clutching a book she had selected from her own library. I remember she was young and thin and delicately pretty and dressed sexy for a teacher, in a short silk frock and high heels. Nothing like our regular biology teacher, who was decidedly butch in every possible way.
The substitute read aloud a section which described, in hypnotically explicit detail, the sex life of sticklebacks. Our class was not studying fish or any other animals' mating rituals, so it was confusing, especially since the book was clearly not written for 12 year olds. While my classmates fidgeted and drooled in boredom, I fell under the substitute's spell, fascinated by the incredible depravity and obscenity coming out of her little lipsticked mouth. It was just so incomprehensibly dirty, the things those fish did. I loved it. And, obviously, never forgot the sub's perverse little game with 7th graders either.
I was reminded of this when I stumbled across this species of mammal, whose male has a four-headed (two heads interchangeable, in case you were wondering) penis. And, yup, that's all I'm going to say.
Behold the spiny anteater.
Four heads, no waiting, and used only for sex (not urination).
The lucky lady.
They have a female-led relationship: she's always on top.
And should the four heads fail, his tongue's not bad either.
Images from Scribbly Gum