Cleo Dubois is a BDSM Educator, ritualist, creator of the Academy of S/M Arts, and Leather columnist . A versatile sadomasochist whose private interests lay in caring sadism, switching and cross-orientation play, she came out in the San Francisco Leather Scene in the early 80's. Her two popular docu-films, "The Pain Game" and "Tie Me Up," are available on 1 DVD, "The S/M Arts Collection," on her website www.sm-arts.com, where you will also find details about the Erotic Dominance Weekend Intensives for Men and Women and Private Guided Play for Couples.
In Cleo's words....
BDSM is my lifelong passion. I am a ritualist who connects heat, heart and spirit with my radical sexuality. I am a dominant woman who also personally appreciates the joys of bottoming. As a community player, I feel that we are explorers on the ecstatic path of conscious erotic energy exchange.
In 1995 I founded the Academy of S/M Arts to empower and guide those on their own leather journeys. In 2002, my Academy of SM Arts offered its first Erotic Dominance Intensive for Women, a small focused hands-on weekend workshop. I now also offer weekend Intensives for Dominant Men and Men Who Switch with Eve Minax and Selina Raven several times a year at the SF Citadel in San Francisco. We host a yearly course for professional Dominas as well. Details are on my website, www.sm-arts.com
My award-winning docufilm “The Pain Game”, 2000 with then Denver resident beautiful masochist creed, has become a classic noted for its authenticity in embodying the spirit of connected SM play. Published in many non-fiction lifestyle books I am thrilled to be invited to share about my life on Gloria's blog.
7 Pervs, Three Marriages, One Kinky Lifestyle
by Cleo Dubois
As I drive to the city to meet my sweet kinky lover for our weekly night of romance and focused ecstatic sex, my husband of 19 years is with my boi, Sam, while her husband spends the night with his boyfriend! It’s poly, twisted and kinky, all right! Maintaining a family of caring friends may be challenging, but love is all there is. Really!
I haven’t always known I was kinky. Passionate yes, sexually adventurous certainly, but it wasn’t until my then boyfriend, Bob, took me to Mistress Kat‘s groundbreaking SM seminar in San Francisco that I discovered my deep-rooted sadomasochistic tendencies. She demonstrated her own sense of Dominance, collared and whipped her lover, “mouse,” turning him on and humbling him at once.
A big light went off in my head. Here was the fire I had not found in vanilla sex. Soon after I joined the first California leather support group, Society of Janus, Kat had spoken of.
In those days you had to bottom before you dare top. Volunteering for their monthly programs, I got spanked, flogged, tied up, teased and tormented, fisted and appreciated. I met Fakir at a Janus evening at the famed “Chateau.” A slender man with glasses, a dry sense of humor and the ability to share his body explorations with great warmth, he asked who wanted to slide their index finger through his enlarged pierced nipples. I volunteered! Of course!
He always ended his presentations with a demo, often an exotic body practice of pain/pleasure, and that I found fascinating! He indeed was a different kind of bird! While my playground was the private SM Sex club, the Catacombs, he was into piercings, branding, sensory deprivation and shamanic ceremonies inspired by other cultures. Eventually I asked him to suture balls on my skin for a private ritual to help me deal with the grief of the losses to Aids of so many of my playmates. He gracefully obliged. My then lover beat the drum. We all connected.
Fakir had done his own Sundance and O-kee-pa ceremonies. They had been filmed and were part of a documentary. In 1986 when the film Bizarre Rituals Dances Sacred and Profane [VHS]
What I did not see coming was falling in love with him that very night! Not with the man himself but with his image on the screen as he was hanging out of his body by hooks off a cottonwood tree!
We fell in love with who we portrayed, it took a long time to fall in love with the real us! Little did I know then that he would someday put a wedding ring on my finger, let alone wear my collar! …sometimes!
© Cleo Dubois 2009
Cleo Dubois Academy of S/M Arts
http://www.sm-arts.com
Read the July installment now
CleoDubois@earthlink.net
Tel:(650)322-0124
Meanwhile, if you're in the Bay area, see some awesome exhibits of Fakir's photographic art:
Fakir's GenderFlex Photo Exhibit Saturday June 6 exhibit opening and artist's reception 7 to 10 PM at Femina Potens Gallery, 2199 Market Street (corner of Sanchez) San Francisco, California. GenderFlex is part of the Femina Potens IDENTITY show, National Queer Arts Festival and Gay Pride month events. Fakir's GenderFlex exhibit features color portraits of local and community trans persons: those who feel out-of-place on either end of the gender spectrum and have found a more comfortable place in the middle or opposite end. The exhibit will be open until June 28, Wednesday through Saturday, noon to 6 PM. For more info, go to Fakir's web site www.fakir.org.
Cleo will have some very interesting things to say about gender explorations in her July column!
Also check out Fakir's other photo exhibit, EROTIC EMBRACE OF THE CORSET at the Center For Sex & Culture, 1519 Mission Street, San Francisco. Artist's Reception Friday June 19, 7-10 PM. Fifty years of photography of extreme body modification with tight lacing. This exhibit will be up through July. Call CSC for open times: 415-255-1155 or see events on their web site at www.sexandculture.org.
Thank you for your story. It's good to know we have sexy role models we can admire, respect and learn from. From body ritual to kink to poly-love -- wow! -- you've got it covered! Thanks to all 7 of you!
Posted by: Neophyte | Jun 11, 2009 at 02:53 PM