The fifth gripping installment in one of the world's most remarkable autobiographies! The courage and honesty of their lives truly is inspirational. I am honored to be able to share this rich and beautiful story and photojournal of the ups and downs and ins and outs of the amazing Cleo Dubois and Fakir Musafar.
CLEO DUBOIS is a BDSM Educator, ritualist, creator of the Academy of S/M Arts, and Leather columnist . A versatile sadomasochist whose private interests lay in caring sadism, switching and cross-orientation play, she came out in the San Francisco Leather Scene in the early 80's. Her two popular docu-films, "The Pain Game" and "Tie Me Up," are available on 1 DVD, "The S/M Arts Collection," on her website www.sm-arts.com, where you will also find details about the Erotic Dominance Weekend Intensives for Men and Women. She offers private guided play to individuals and couples in the privacy of her San Francisco area dungeon, as well as office and phone consultations.
Rocky Road:
“sometimes the light’s all shining on me, other times I can barely see…”We all know our play personas and the roles we explore give voice to our inner Child, Slut, Master, Queen, Servant, Sadist, Mentor… Fueled by the heat of our sexual hunger we re-visit stifled or shamed desires on our own adult terms. During our kinky erotic explorations, profound connections and deep healing happen. Lessons are there to be learnt.
Master M was the right Top to nurture Fakir’s female persona. They shared a mutual fetish and turn-on for corsets, garters, bondage and gender play. Master M got quite turned on by cinching him up and sensually adorning his legs with silky seamed stockings. They also shared heart space. Master M’s “Daddy” side seduced the hidden young queer boy in Fakir to come out. A good Daddy, he brought much healing to the complex visionary Fakir is.
Indeed our passionate lover was quite a shapeshifter. Dominant sadistic Top or sex slave, he excelled in both. I greatly enjoyed using him for my pleasure and was happy to become his masochistic sex toy when the mood took us there.
You know how archetypes are, both the light and the dark co-exist and it can be so easy to slip out of the light. One Saturday night 10 years after we connected and while I was away at a leather conference, Master M let out his predatory self and gave Fakir an ultimatum: him or me. Although my husband’s “submissive self” did not want to let go of his Daddy/Master, he knew his life commitment was to me. We parted ways and did not see him again.
Our mutual loss pitted us against each other and resentment built. A skilled kink aware therapist helped us focus on and honor what we valued in each other. We renewed our sacred contract. We loved each other and worked great together as Shamans and ritualists.
We went in search of the live roots of ecstatic piercing rituals. In 1995 during our trip to Malaysia Fakir encountered Murugan the Southern Hindu Archetype to whom the Thaipusam Festival is dedicated. Kali made me Hers when I visited one of Her small temples in Penang. These energies were so awesomely real, there was no denying them. We were on our path and it was NOT a surprise that our BDSM lifestyle was part of our mission.
Up until the late 90s requests for our work abounded: Avant garde art festivals hungered for Fakirs’ photo exhibits, our body performances and shamanic ceremonies. Copenhagen, Lisbon, Tokyo, Osaka, London, Santa Monica, Paris, everywhere we went, we met wonderful folks eager for the rituals we were honored to bring them. Canal +, a French film production company, financed a short documentary on Fakir. I was glad to translate and add my touch to the film.
When the curtain closed and we got home, I realized I was not happy. I felt a huge gap between our archetypal selves, my warrior queen and his shaman, and our everyday realities. Our erotic connection was tenuous. My dominance outside the dungeon took an ugly turn. Looking at where we came from (both our mothers were the boss at home) it is not surprising that I, too, was domineering instead of consensually dominant. I must say that his passive aggressive habits did not help one bit! The Oppressor/Victim tandem rarely leads to hot play or harmonious home life!
I entered deep private therapy again. I wanted face my demons, find more balance in my life and deepen our relationship. It was the beginning of a new century.
Sixth installment coming in November! Read previous installments now:
Part Four
Part Three
Part Two
Part One
Interested in Fakir’s explorations? Visit his web site for photos, description and video clips of his feature length documentary movie DANCES SACRED & PROFANE and huge photographic art book SPIRIT + FLESH at: http://www.fakir.org/store/index.html
Cleo Dubois Academy of S/M Arts
email: CleoDubois@sm-arts.com
http://www.sm-arts.com
Tel:(650)322-0124My Academy of SM Arts is now enrolling The next Erotic Dominance Weekend Intensive for Women: Tops and Switches, November 14-15 at the SF Citadel. Dominate with presence and passion, competence and compassion! Hands on playshops with our trained Academy volunteers bottoms, workbook and lots of personal attention from Cleo Dubois, Eve Minax and Selina Raven.
Find out more at www.sm-arts.com/intensives/women.html
Anyone, Top, bottoms, switches, curious, partnered or not, visiting the San Francisco Bay Area is welcome to contact me for a private consultation or guided play in my San Francisco Peninsula dungeon.
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