Is it a blowjob? A handjob? No, putting your junk in the RealTouch is like fucking the Matrix, the rabbit hole lined with shockingly personal conveyor belts and the moneymakers of various Jennas, Toris, and Brees at the other end.
Consider the best porn movies which are, let's say, a concerted effort between performers, videographers, and directors to get you off. The RealTouch adds yet another participant to your masturbation's open marriage: a hard-working haptic encoder.
The RealTouch device is slightly bigger than that squash you devoured yesterday, and far more interesting to put your penis in. Opposite your penis, a USB cable connects the RealTouch hardware to your computer where, logged in to your account at RealTouch.com, you can access hundreds of scenes specially coded for use with your new conversation starter.
Aunt Leticia drinks all the cooking sherry, Grandpa and Cousin Harold argue politics, Cousin Wendell tells us about the latest cult he just joined, and I get stuck babysitting Aunt Brunhilde’s kids, Rollo and Yappo. That’s it, man; I’m outta here.
I was updating my google news page the other day and browsed their nifty "gadget" page, hoping to find some cool new widget to take my infomania ito a new level. I didn't expect to find one to Locate Sex Offenders in your area.