In an ad last night on Craigslist, the poster offered oral sex ("10 minutes maximum") to any woman who came to his home, in exchange for 2 percent organic milk, unscented toilet paper, and size D batteries.
But just because you're bringing him supplies, don't expect to be treated that great:
Since I am doing you a favor with this service, I will not be able to share any of the aforementioned products. If the worst of the hurricane hits while you are here, please be aware that, after our 10 minutes, I will ask you to leave, whatever the weather. Oh, and for the record, I will not be showing any of my man body during this interlude.
Got it, well-stocked and hard-up women of the Washington area? No man body.