Gloria's Oversexed Mind

June 3, 2005 in Food and Drink, Post-Modern Pop Culture, Sexual Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Strangely, this reminds me of that UPS commercial about "what brown can do for you...."

Restaurant Offers Toilet Bowl Servings

Taiwanese restaurateur Eric Wang has given new meaning to the traditional revelers' cry of bottoms up. His eatery in the southern city of Kaohsiung delivers its food not on conventional plates and dishes, but in miniaturized Western and Asian style toilets, both the flush and non-flush variety.

For anyone missing the point, diners are encouraged to stir up mushy, earth-colored offerings like curry chicken rice and chocolate ice cream to conjure up — well, the real thing.
Located in a downtown area with a variety of competing eateries, Marton — the name means toilet in Chinese — attracts its customers through its dazzling bathroom decor.

Walking in through an arched door, diners are greeted with a giant toilet bowl sitting between two urinals. White ceramic toilet seats comfortably accommodate their bottoms, and urinals grace the walls....

Wang, 26, opened the Marton last year after a roadside prototype — a stand offering toilet-shaped ice cream cones — achieved runaway success....

"Diners come and walk away with the special experience," he said. "Many try to create more fun, stirring up curry and rice so it looks exactly like when you forget to flush the toilet. Then they gulp it down."

For all its scatological excess, the Marton is following in the noblest tradition of Taiwanese novelty restaurants.

Other successful ventures have purposely confined scores of contented diners to coffins or jail cells....

June 3, 2005 in Food and Drink, Post-Modern Pop Culture | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 9, 2005 in Food and Drink | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

YUM YUM YUM!

...A man stands next to a giant Easter egg made by Belgian chocolate-maker Guylian... (AFP/BELGA/Lieven Van Assche)

March 27, 2005 in Food and Drink | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

I don't know about you, but I wouldn't eat just any guy's nuts. There are more sanitary ways to feast on cheese....

March 10, 2005 in Food and Drink | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 25, 2005 in Food and Drink | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Nudists dine in New York style

The diners arrived at a nice Manhattan restaurant on a cold February night and stripped off coats, hats, gloves and scarves. They didn't stop there.

Skirts, shirts, pants, underwear and stockings all ended up stashed in plastic bags by the bar as the patrons got naked for the monthly "Clothing Optional Dinner."

"It's exciting to be in a restaurant nude," said George Keyes, 65, a retired junior high school English teacher.

Nude yes, but not unadorned.

Keyes, a lifelong nudist, wore a necklace, earrings and a black leather "genital bracelet" with red studs. And white sneakers.

The dinner was started by a group of New York nudists who wanted something a bit more elegant than the wilderness getaways and beach resorts they generally frequent....

Meanwhile, a flash back to an earlier attitude towards naturism--here's a funny old ad from the 50s.

February 19, 2005 in Food and Drink | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

OK, I'm jealous. When is someone going to make "Kink Drink"?

Queer Beer launched for gays

A trio of Swiss businessmen have launched a new drink for gay people called Queer Beer.

Michael Hutmacher, 32, came up with the idea with two friends and has now founded a company, Lemonhead, to market it.

He said: "My business partner, who is gay, and I were talking about how to corner the homosexual market and came up with the idea for a drink aimed specifically at gay men and women.

"It really was just a crazy idea at first, but we've now come up with a product."

Hutmacher, from Zug. added: "Our beer is a humorous attempt to identify with the gay scene and we hope it will help people to feel relaxed with their sexuality and not hide away...."

February 3, 2005 in Food and Drink | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Needless to say, this isn't on the menu tonight either.

January 19, 2005 in Food and Drink | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Portuguese eatery just says no to racy mobile phone calls

A restaurant in Portugal has barred its customers from talking on their mobile telephones after a man had a racy conversation while having a meal at the establishment, a daily newspaper reported.

"He completely forgot that he was in a public place, everyone stopped to listen to the conversation which I can only say was really very sensual," the owner of the restaurant, Carlos Fernandes, told Correio da Manha.

Diners at the restaurant in the northern city of Guimaraes, located some 350 kilometres (220 miles) northeast of Lisbon, are now asked to leave their mobile phones at the door, turn them off or in case of an emergency, keep them on vibration mode....

January 10, 2005 in Food and Drink, Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Be honest: wouldn't you shiver, just a little, if she offered to eat you?

'Black Widow' Wins Meatball-Eating Contest

Somewhere in the world there may be someone who can eat more food in less time than Sonya Thomas, but don't bet your next meal on it. Thomas, known in uber-eating circles as "The Black Widow," proved her mettle once again Saturday at the Tropicana, dominating the competition in what was billed as the World Meatball Eating Championships.

Facing a field that included several men who could have fit the 105-pound Thomas into one of their pant legs, she finished off 89 meatballs in 12 minutes, or about one meatball shy of six pounds. The next closest competitor was nearly a pound behind.

Were that not impressive enough, this should strike fear into the hearts and stomachs of her future foes: guys, she could have eaten more.

"I wasn't that full," Thomas said after receiving the $2,500 winner's check. "I had room for more. It was the swallowing that was the hard part...."

Yeah, that's always the hard part, isn't it, ladies?

December 7, 2004 in Food and Drink | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

December 5, 2004 in Food and Drink | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 23, 2004 in Food and Drink | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

I don't even want to know what some people use to baste their birds...

Help Lines Hear Thanksgiving Horror Tales

....Cooks who have questions about how to prepare the seasonal feast have long been able to call help lines, offered by turkey producers, schools or others looking to provide assistance....

Mary Clingman serves as director of the Butterball Turkey Talk Line in Downers Grove, Ill. It expects to take more than 100,000 inquiries through Christmas.

Some past callers stand out.

"We got a call from a guy last year whose turkey wouldn't fit in his pan. He wrapped it in a towel and stomped on it until it did," Clingman said.

Another caller cut a turkey in half with a chain saw, then worried that oil on the saw might have transferred onto the turkey. A woman in Colorado who left her turkey outside to keep it frozen realized she couldn't find it when more snow fell.

And one phone call began: "You don't know anything about kitty litter, do you?"....

November 23, 2004 in Food and Drink | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

One way I dig up news stories is by searching Google news under different keywords. Google, with its hopelessly vanilla world-view, naturally spews forth every writer on the planet who misuses the term. That would be most writers on the planet. People have developed a fetish for fetish. Even the most deadly dully sexually repressed person will gurgle about a fetish for baseball or a fast food fetish. I must protest this overuse of the term. To me, it really isn't a fast food fetish until you're using french fries as anal probes.

Which brings me to this disgusting report from New Zealand about what goes into chicken nuggets.

The wisdom of chicken nuggets

...Last year, the country's four manufacturing plants produced 6000 tonnes of chicken nuggets. A national child nutrition survey found 17 per cent of Kiwi kids ate fried chicken or chicken nuggets "at least once a week".

Internationally, they're a product that gets bad press. They're McFrankenstein creations, said a New York judge who noted anti-foaming agent in the version sold by American McDonald's. An Australian Consumers Association test of 14 popular brands found fat per average serve could be as high as 31 grams. In August, nuggets were one of three foods flagged by the New Zealand Food Safety Authority's Total Diet Survey after residual levels of the fungicide ethoxyquin were discovered.

When UK journalist Felicity Lawrence wanted to find out what really went into the food on her plate she encountered research revealing one manufacturer making nuggets almost entirely out of chicken skin.

"Our recently acquired habit of just buying chicken breasts leaves all the other parts to be disposed of," writes Lawrence in her book, Not on the Label. "While Europe is big on breasts, the Japanese prefer thighs. The feet are a bit of a fetish in China, and gizzards often go to Russia. But that leaves the carcasses and mountains of skin. So the skin is shipped around the world to make chicken nuggets...."

October 4, 2004 in Food and Drink | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

JAKARTA (AFP) - A display of misshapen papayas resembling human genitalia has attracted crowds of thousands in Jakarta, with the city's normally prudish people queueing up to giggle at the saucy fruit.

Bet you can't eat just one!

August 2, 2004 in Food and Drink, Sex and Sadomasochism | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

No, not *that* kind of eating, you sex-freaks. *shaking head sadly*

A new book out in the UK claims that Many basic foods contain vitamins, minerals and amino acids, which can increase desire and help remedy sexual problems.

"....according to the sexperts, boosting your sex life could be as easy as eating the right foods.

"Ian Marber and Vicki Edgson, authors of In Bed with The Food Doctor, insist that nutrients play a major part in making you feel frisky."

(Funny. Breathing makes me feel frisky....but maybe that's just me.)

(If you want to order the book from Amazon, a link will shortly appear in the right column that will take you right to it.)

July 26, 2004 in Food and Drink, Sex and Sadomasochism | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Food disorders are widely discussed but almost always as a women's problem. Other than medical studies which explore the impact of obesity on male health, there is very little public dialogue about male food disorders, and practically none on male anorexia, so this piece really caught my eye.

Fed Up With the Hunger

"Tucked inside the jockeys' room at Hollywood Park are quarters of private suffering.

"In back is a large, glass-windowed sauna, known in the riders' vernacular as the hot box, or sweat box.

"There, jockeys wring water and pounds from their bodies, sweating in stifling temperatures for up to three hours a day, some of them working out on a step machine as they swelter.

""I've seen some guys pull seven, eight pounds," Hall of Fame jockey Mike Smith said. "That's ridiculous."

"Signs posted in the bathroom area suggest another method of weight control: "No heaving in this stall."

"One, however, is reserved for that purpose, with a large basin installed at a height convenient for regurgitating."

July 23, 2004 in Food and Drink, Post-Modern Pop Culture, Science | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Republicans dip freedom fries in "W Ketchup", not Heinz

I hope they'll be supplying Republican barf bags to go along with these new food initiatives.

July 9, 2004 in Food and Drink | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Consider the case of this guy who Became Ill After Gorging on Cicadas

"BLOOMINGTON, Ind. - A man who cooked and ate nearly 30 cicadas sought medical treatment after suffering a strong allergic reaction to the sauteed insects."

The article doesn't say WHY he did it. Just how bad was his wife's cooking, anyway?

May 18, 2004 in Food and Drink | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

And so it begins. The insurance industry now has a study in hand which shows that obesity will erode life insurance profits. No surprise--Americans are the fattest people in the world (the fattest AND we have the best weapons!). But now our weight-related health problems are starting to put the pinch on insurance companies. As we all know, the one thing insurance companies hate to do is actually to pay insurance. So expect the insurance lobbyists to pressure the White House to create anti-obesity initiatives. Then you can expect kooks to become rabid about it, much as they have about smoking. They'll want to outlaw food with fat in it. Maybe a group of crazed anorexics will set off grease-fires at fast-food restaurants! Or what if people in denial tried to sue fast-food companies for making them fat?! How insane would... Oh wait. They already have.

Soon politicians will perceive an opportunity to pander to special interests, while others will take on anti-obesity as a cause. Perhaps one day Mayor Bloomberg or his successor, will outlaw the consumption of high-fat foods in restaurants. Oh, how I long to be at Katz's on that glorious day when the cops bust up the place and haul off a few dozen politically incorrect pastrami eaters. Viva le kishka!!

Meanwhile, even as insurers lobby against obesity, I imagine pharmaceutical companies have been working overtime and revving up for a very lucrative future in anti-fat drugs. I imagine the nocturnal emissions of corporate drug czars dreaming of filing the patent for the weight-loss equivalent of Viagra. I imagine the drug companies understanding it's in their best interest to keep us fat so they can keep selling us weight-loss drugs, while the insurance companies understand it's in their best interest to force Americans to lose weight so they can avoid paying the insurance we pay them to pay us.

Big business will fight it out in Washington, and in state legislatures, and in the secret conference rooms in hushed executive suites, and they will make a lot of deals that we'll never know about. One way or another, big business will win this fight. In fact, the only ones who will lose will be the patients. Let's face it: when it comes to America's health, they don't really count for much.

April 6, 2004 in Food and Drink, Science | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Atkins-Blasting 'Physicians' Committee is a Front Group for PETA

This release is hot off the wires. An anti-PETA group is claiming that PETA completely distorted Atkins' autopsy report.

Where does media responsibility enter into this? The news media all jumped onto the story that Atkins was "obese" at his death (as it turns out, it was all from edema, not fat). Now they're quickly back-tracking to point out the facts of the autopsy and not PETA's spin. WHY didn't they check the medical results themselves before spreading the news that Atkins' was overweight and draw their own conclusions from the medical report? How many times are they going to report press releases from partisan organizations and pretend they're hard news, rather than doing any of the legwork to verify the facts?

Maybe we need a group called People for the Ethical Treatment of Facts, because facts are sure getting the doormat treatment from the media.

February 10, 2004 in Food and Drink, Post-Modern Pop Culture, Science | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack