Gloria's Oversexed Mind

I guess it's understandable that curious fans would google a hunky local celebrity. A little less understandable is the excitement it's created on some blogs. What exactly is the value of revealing this morsel -- except, I guess, to create gossip and to salivate a bit, like "woo-hoo, I saw your weenie on the screenie!" In the great wide world of things-we-need-to-know about people -- is this one of them?

Being a (former) porn star hardly is in conflict with either becoming a cop or having a talent for design. But this is precisely the reason why a lot of BDSMers stay in the closet: fear that if their sexual identities are revealed, they'll be punished or mocked in the court of popular opinion. That fear drives a lot of people not just to hide in the closet but to lock and soundproof the door.

What do you think? Knowing he had a porn past, should this hunkalicious design maven have been forthcoming about it? Is there some expectation in vanilla-land that you have to get a bona fide G-rated stamp before you're allowed to tell people which lamp looks best in the living room?

from the Dallas Voice:

Something tells me that we haven’t seen the last of Mikey Verdugo or “Mikey V.,” the studly police officer who competed on “Design Star: Nashville.”

Arguably this season’s sexiest contestant, Verdugo stopped many hearts whenever he appeared onscreen. Fans’ searches on the Internet led to an Oct. 18, 2007 BrowardPalmBeach.com article about Verdugo’s phenomenal success as a rookie detective and the difficulties he faced coming out as a gay cop.

But this week, porn bloggers made a positive identification. It looks like Verdugo had another screen credit under his belt — as “Jeremy Wess,” star of “Rope Rituals” and “Classics Vol. 2” ($59.99). Tom “Ropes” McGurk, who’s known as the “king of reality hardcore bondage,” made both videos.

Porn star to Design Star

July 18, 2008 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder, Sex and Culture | Permalink | Comments (0)

I don't know what's more disturbing here: his bizarre antics or his mugshot. He looks like a cross between Charles Manson and Howdy Doody.

Here's Howdy:

Here's Charlie:

Here's Andy:

And here's the story:

Police were called to the Buffalo Wild Wings in Murrieta at about 1:13 a.m. to investigate a report of "an intoxicated male" urinating outside the bar and causing a disturbance, according to a police statement.

When they arrived, a 17-year-old girl told police that she was outside when Dick left the bar, walked up, "grabbed her tank top and bra and pulled them down and exposed her breasts," the statement said.

Marijuana and the drug Xanax were found his pants pockets during a search and he appeared "extremely intoxicated," police said.

Comedian Andy Dick arrested in drug, sex cases

Sounds like a real pearl of a guy. And proving yet again that celebs get special treatment, this isn't the first time he's done stuff that would brand most people as sex criminals.

Dick has a reputation for crude behavior. He has been reported to have exposed himself to audiences at least twice. He was forcibly removed from the set of the show "Jimmy Kimmel Live" last year after he repeatedly touched guest Ivanka Trump without her permission.

Also last year, Dick was cited in Columbus, Ohio, for urinating on the sidewalk. A comedy club owner in the city said the actor also made inappropriate comments while onstage, groped patrons, took women into the men's room and urinated on the floor and on at least one person.

July 16, 2008 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder, Sex Laws and Crimes | Permalink | Comments (2)

Thanks to PCG for the link to this highly amusing tale.

Man cut free from 'S&M' chastity belt by firemen

Firefighters had to cut a man out of a titanium chastity belt intended for sex games last week.

Crews from Kingston fire station were called to the red-faced man's home in Ham at about 11pm on June 27 after he had spent all day trying to free himself from the device.

It took about 45 minutes for firefighters to release the man, believed to be in his 40s, from the structure. By this time he had slipped in and out of consciousness due to the pressure of the chastity belt on his genitals.

These two snips are priceless:

Crew manager Brennan Healey, from the fire station, said the man, of average build, had put the two-piece device on in the morning but then realised he did not have a key to open it....

"Firefighter Simon Mitchell did a great job and was especially hands on'....

Guess it's safe to say it wasn't just his face that was red.

July 15, 2008 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder, Sex and Sadomasochism | Permalink | Comments (2)

Quirky little news-bit last week from New Hampshire that made me go...WHAT!? Seriously? Is this even possible? And, if so, should I be strategically positioning men with multiple genital piercings during thunderstorms just to see how it works?

A 21-year-old Antrim woman is recovering after being struck by lightning Wednesday night. The bolt hit her feet and came out through her nose ring.

"She had walked into the garage to go outside to turn off the faucet. The light came in through the garage and hit her," Jessica's mother, Danielle Taylor told WBZ.

"It was like a red flash that came from her feet and she was thrown into my arms. She was blue and purple, and stiff as a board."

Link:
Lightning Strike Leaves New Hampshire Woman Through Nose Ring

Mother Nature is sooooooooooooooo non-consensual!

July 14, 2008 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder, Sex and Sadomasochism, Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

He's looking especially fit and ripped....and almost as good as his gf in that suit. Wonder if he has heels to match.

Link: Jim Carrey wears Jenny McCarthy's swimsuit

July 9, 2008 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (0)

Only in America.

The $6 million lawsuit filed by the New York City street performer known as The Naked Cowboy against M&Ms candy maker Mars Inc can go forward on grounds of trademark infringement, a judge ruled on Monday.

Robert Burck -- for 10 years a fixture in Times Square, who strums a white guitar while dressed only in white cowboy boots and hat and skimpy white underwear -- filed the suit in February over video billboards depicting a blue M&M dressed in his signature outfit.

U.S. District Court Judge Denny Chin denied a motion to dismiss the lawsuit, ruling that Burck may proceed with his false endorsement claim, "for he plausibly alleges that consumers seeing defendants' advertisements would conclude -- incorrectly -- that he had endorsed M&M candy."

LINK

OK, impromptu poll: who would you rather have melt in your mouth?

June 25, 2008 in Post-Modern Pop Culture, Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder, Sex and Culture, Sex Laws and Crimes | Permalink | Comments (3)

I love the weird bathroom-related stories that make the news sometime. Like..is this really news and does the general public really need to know? Personally, when I travel, I blithely take my chances on whether I'll be sitting or squatting. Maybe assignment editors just figure everyone likes a little toilet humor.

Beijing enlists army of toilet trained staff

Beijing has dispatched 8,000 toilet maintenance staff, each responsible for a specific public restroom in the city and trained in hygiene standards and techniques, Olympic knowledge and practical English expressions, Xinhua said Friday.

There will be selective inspections every week and the results will be posted on the website of the Municipal Utilities Administration Commission, said the news agency.

The city was also struggling with which style of commode would be best, noting Westerners prefer seated toilets, which are more comfortable and convenient for the elderly or infirm.

June 23, 2008 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (0)

As long ago as 1992, I remarked (and wrote in Different Loving) that an interesting aspect of human behavior is that pain and suffering are taken for granted when it comes to things like professional sports, yet demonized when it comes to things like our private sex lives.

We think nothing of pro athletes taking beatings on the field, enduring rigorous and painful training, and essentially sacrificing their bodies for the sake of that fascinating human construct, competitive sports. But what, really, is behind that drive? Is it a dream of glory only -- or is there something about the human mind which motivates us to believe that pain is itself a glorious experience?

Some of the food for thought behind my comparison of SM to pro sports was in part prompted by the classic essay on professional wrestling by Roland Barthes, written in 1957 and published in his work, Mythologies, in which Barthes describes the sport as a ritualistic tragedy that follows a specific template: Suffering, Defeat, Justice. It was, of course, the notion of ritualized suffering that particularly intrigued me -- more than that, the very PUBLIC spectacle of suffering which serves any number of cathartic psychological purposes for the audience. (For quick consumption of Barthe's basic theories on pro wrestling, check out this college professor excellent cliff notes. )

A very fine and articulate journalist, Matthew Randazzo, has penned an in-depth analysis of the pro wrestling scene in America today, with a focus on the bizarre life and death of Chris Benoit. When Randazzo says that Benoit had a sadomasochistic relationship with the sport (and with Vince McMahon), he isn't kidding. This was an eye-opening interview into the master-slave relationships McMahon forms with his most vulnerable athletes. Like any pathological, non-consensual sadist, McMahon exacts submission through tyranny and without care for the health or emotional well-being of the men who work for him.

Even if you'd never watch a match, the interview offers food for thought about power and its abuses, and how basic SM impulses drive some people to engage in non-erotic but nonetheless clearly sadomasochistic dynamics. Most particularly, for folks like us, it proves yet again how SM without boundaries (or even acknowledgement of the true dynamic in play) can completely unhinge people. In Benoit's case, it's an object lesson in the terrifying consequences of submitting to the wrong master.

Some excerpts...

Matt Randazzo Interview

....the real story of Chris Benoit's meltdown was nothing close to what was being published either in the mainstream press (who blamed steroids) or the insider wrestling press (who acted as if it was an arbitrary fluke that could have happened anywhere). The real story was very different: Chris Benoit's sadomasochistic drive to succeed in pro wrestling lead him to pursue a lifestyle that, in countless ways, caused his deadly physical and mental decline.

...McMahon himself, as I reveal in Ring of Hell, treats them with so little respect that, in one instance, he mocked and fired a wrestler who sought medical attention for an injury for being "a pussy."

...The wrestling business is often ugly and exploitative, but it is safe to say that McMahon is the most demanding, coldblooded, heartless, and ultimately destructive promoter in the industry.

...It's really incredible when you think about it: in March of 2004, World Wrestling Entertainment, a publicly traded company worth billions of dollars decided that the faces of its corporate brand should be a short, homely, grotesquely steroid-addled Mexican-American wrestler with a history of horrible drug abuse and a short, dull Canadian technical wrestler with a broken neck and multiple severe drug addictions. Chris Benoit and Eddy Guerrero weren't chosen solely on the basis of marketability; according to numerous WWE writers who I interviewed for Ring of Hell, they were both being rewarded for their selfless, suicidal devotion to a business that was completely destroying their bodies and putting their family lives under great stress.

You can get Randazzo's new book at Amazon.

To read Barthes' original essay, pick up Mythologies.

June 18, 2008 in Post-Modern Pop Culture, Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder, Sex and Sadomasochism | Permalink | Comments (3)

Here's an image that totally classes up the NY Post's Page Six: the lovely Natalie Portman getting anointed by someone who wants to make her his bitch. (And, really, who wouldn't want to?)

NATALIE PORT-A-POTTY

April 22, 2008 in Pets and Animal Love, Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (0)

Somehow I feel this says something about us as a culture. On the other hand, it was probably made in China, so maybe it says something about the Chinese. On the third hand, it was probably made it for an American company which provided the designs and specs. (making one wonder what the Chinese factory workers were thinking as they produced this...) On the fourth hand, who among us (dominants who like humiliation, that is) doesn't wish they could make their submissives learn to do this as a party trick...And on the fifth hand...well, wtf, just give this gnome a hand for doing something I'm sure someone in Internet-Land wishes they could personally perform for a youtube audience.

GARDEN BUBBLE BLOWING GNOME NEW IN BOX

April 22, 2008 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (1)

You can't make this shit up.

Missing NY rev. found at Ohio strip club

Police say a pastor who was reported missing from his home in western New York has been found at an Ohio strip club.

A police officer patrolling the K.C. Lounge parking lot Friday morning in the Dayton suburb of Riverside spotted out-of-state license plates on 46-year-old Craig Rhodenizer's car.

The FBI and New York authorities had been searching for Rhodenizer, who disappeared Wednesday after telling his wife he was getting his computer fixed at Best Buy. He is the pastor of a church in Lyndonville, N.Y....

March 30, 2008 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder, Sex and Spirituality | Permalink | Comments (0)

This rather incredible story out of Kansas is racing through the Internet for reasons you will immediately understand. And may I be one of the first to say, "Holy shit."

www.kansascity.com | 03/12/2008 | Woman sat on toilet for two years, sheriff says

A 35-year-old woman who spent two years in her boyfriend’s bathroom had become stuck to the toilet seat, authorities said Wednesday.

“She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body. It is hard to imagine. … I still have a hard time imagining it myself,” Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said, adding that it appeared her body fat had grown attached to the seat.

Authorities planned to present their report to the county attorney to see whether any charges should be filed against her 36-year-old boyfriend, Whipple said.

The man called police Feb. 27 to report that “there was something wrong with his girlfriend,” Whipple said, adding that the man never explained why it took him two years to call.

He said the boyfriend had brought the woman food and water during the two years and told investigators he asked her daily to come out.

“And her reply would be, ‘Maybe tomorrow,’ ” Whipple said. “According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom.”

I think most people would agree that she and the boyfriend have mental problems of some kind. The question is what kind of mental problems would lock two people into such a hopeless folie a deux for two years? Was she, as Will suggested, so rabidly agoraphobic that once enclosed in the bathroom she didn't feel safe leaving it anymore? Was it some sort of psychotic delusion that she was leaking human waste and had to stay in place? More importantly, how does one maintain any standard of health (or cleanliness) if they haven't risen off a seat in two years? My guess is that there must be a host of problems (besides the obvious, and the fact that her legs atrophied)!

The shocking gruesomeness is darkly funny but wow, that poor lady (and her poor demented boyfriend, who didn't even call the cops for two years). She must have been going through some awful mental anguish to live like that. I've known agoraphobics and IMO it's one of the worst psychological afflictions a person can deal with because of the constant, unremitting anxiety.

March 13, 2008 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (2)

You may have heard about an unfortunate event at a professional house of domination in NYC last week: a regular client came in to the Nutcracker Suite for his favorite hardcore bondage experience and ended up falling into a coma while trussed up. Oops.

Accusations of negligence flew (e.g., that staff wasn't adequately attentive and didn't check on him often enough); staff and owner were questioned and released by the cops. The guy is recovering now and hopefully some of the hysteria will die down.

It cannot be good for an SM business if there is reason to believe that your dungeon staff failed to monitor a client's well-being during hardcore bondage. What the financial implications may be is hard to guess right now. But -- if these allegations of negligence are true (anyone locals know?) -- maybe they need to close for a week and re-train everyone to have some COMMON SENSE. Holy crap - who leaves people all alone during super hard bondage? But since I haven't heard the story from insiders, maybe there are plausible explanations. And, of course, accidents do happen in BDSM and we who consent to it take that risk.

Still the least you should be able to expect from a SSC encounter is that your partner (or high-paid prodom, in this case) does everything possible to protect your physical safety throughout. Wish I knew if Nutcracker has been falsely accused or whether it was indeed a moment of laziness or stupidity on their part.

Meanwhile, another story has emerged in the wake of this one, and that is the NY Post's gleefully grubby, unethical decision to out "anyone caught wearing a dog collar," according to one editor there. Yes, I know: it's the NY Post, infamous for trying to destroy people's lives with ridiculous allegations and exaggerations. Still they seem intent now on targeting kinksters for a very personal and nasty kind of public humiliation: publishing their names, occupations, and locations, and dragging not only their reputations but also their families through the mud.

Check out this fine piece by writer Jeff Bercovici decrying the Post's hypocritical attitude towards pervs.

Sexual Vigilanteism at the 'New York Post'

Paying for erotic favors is okay, as long as your tastes are generic. That, in a nutshell, is the sexual ethic of the New York Post.

How else do you explain a paper where the top editors hang out at strip clubs at night and spend their days shaming fetish-club patrons by name?

I refer to coverage of the 67-year-old man who had to be hospitalized after an accident at the hands of a dominatrix in a Manhattan establishment called the Nutcracker Suite. Today, the Post crossed into ethically murky territory with a story that named the man (citing "law-enforcement sources"), and described his professional history, hometown and family situation. For good measure, the Post's reporters also took it upon themselves to phone the man's wife and fill her in on the details.

Some places are calling for a boycott of the Post. I doubt it'll be effective but perhaps it's worth doing. How else can one fight back?

So does this make you any more or less inclined to pick up the paper (if you're in NY)? If your local paper took copped this same fucked up attitude, what would you do? Would it just make you avoid BDSM places?

(And by the way, everyone keeps calling the Nutcracker an SM "club." I don't consider a pro house a "club," unless they routinely host public parties, charge membership fees, or otherwise let people in who do not have to fork over $250+ to pros. A pro house, as I see it, is a private venue where very private, usually closeted, people come to do things they would never be seen doing in a public venue. The club environment and the pro house environment share little in common except the equipment.)

February 18, 2008 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder, Sex and Culture, Sex and Sadomasochism | Permalink | Comments (1)

Ok, ok, this has nothing to do with Trotsky - but everything to do with Stalin. AGH.

Thanks to Mimi for sending this one!

Soviet theme park features belt whippings, KGB interrogations

Mickey Mouse, roller coasters, and cotton candy typify the average theme park. But in one Lithuanian town, those amenities are exchanged for belt whippings and some good old fashioned KGB interrogation.

It's called "Gulag tourism."

Um. Having known a few survivors of Stalin's Russia I boldly predict that NONE of them will ever visit this place. OTOH, am I alone in thinking that some Russian BDSMers might be beyond this theme park? Just saying....

February 18, 2008 in Post-Modern Pop Culture, Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder, Sex and Culture | Permalink | Comments (0)

Oh those wacky vanillas...

"In a civilized society a person cannot send a severed cow's head to anybody."

LINK: Mailing cow's head to wife's lover? No!

January 9, 2008 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (0)

Ummm....ummm.....so....

Any masochists want to work here?

A black firefighter who stood to collect nearly $3 million over a prank involving dog food in his spaghetti is at the center of a political and racial furor in Los Angeles....

The settlement was vetoed by Villaraigosa after Kobylt and Chiampou obtained pictures of Pierce himself engaging in a series of fire station pranks -- in one instance apparently helping shave the genital area of a firefighter who had been bound to a gurney.....

November 30, 2006 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder, Sex and Sadomasochism | Permalink | Comments (0)

I haven't done a whole lot of blogging about strange news lately, or at least not as often as I used to, when you could count on sex-related oddities appearing most days.

But hell, it's Friday, and I've got a bunch of newsy bits and images (surely you didn't think I'd stopped collecting pix of cute fuzzy little animules, right?) piled up, gathering micro-dust in my brain files.

So herewith, a Friday parade of bloggie posts that may evoke a visceral "oohh" or "tee-hee" or--as below-- a big groaning "EUW!!!" but promise to leave your brain intellectually void.

Some call it news: I call it post-traumatic tabloid disorder.

SO...did you know that Russia is planning to regulate the sale of perfume?

The reason: Russian drunks are drinking it! Euw. Straight up. EUW!! And not just perfume, but other utterly disgusting things. 20% of the booze being imbibed in Russia comes from make-up and "household products."

Gag me with a Chanel bottle. (But first, let me take a bath in it...)

Speaking of which....

Moscow cosmetics shop owner Nadezhda Ivanova told the Telegraph: "Just because my husband is fool enough to drink brake fluid, why should I be deprived of the pleasure of wearing Chanel?"

So Russian women now care more about wearing perfume than about whether their husbands commit suicide! Hoorah. We've won the war against Communism. Now their values are every bit as fucked up as our own.

Status uber alles! Love, devotion, wedding vows....eh....yeah, whatever.

June 16, 2006 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder, Sex and Relationships | Permalink | Comments (0)

(juuuust kidding! But EUW, what was this teacher thinking???)

Teacher Fired After Allegedly Biting Pupil

School officials on Tuesday fired a middle school teacher charged with biting a student who would not spit out a piece of candy.

Caroline Kolb has pleaded not guilty to an aggravated assault charge for allegedly biting 14-year-old Garrick Hudson on the back during a classroom scuffle Jan. 11....

March 15, 2006 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

For years, conservative Christians have declaimed that America's entered a crazy state of decay a la the Roman Empire in its final days - and have pointed fingers at people like us, who enjoy kinky sex, as the heralds (if not the catalysts) of this decline. Yet somehow the fact that people these days will do *anything* for a buck, no matter how stupid or disgusting - much less how unspiritual and tawdry - doesn't seem to draw a peep. What's up with that?

I have no sentimentality about (much less an interest in) living in a Communist or socialist state and am very grateful I was born in the United States - but IMO, it's the wretched excesses of capitalism which are tearing the soul out of this country - whether it's fighting wars to enrich oil companies or turning our bodies into advertising billboards. People have already named babies after commercial products. What's next? How about bar-codes on babies so corporations can track their shopping habits for life? I'm positive some companies would spend HUGE for that privilege.

Woman Sells Ad Rights to Pregnancy on eBay

....Francis, 21, auctioned off the advertising rights to her pregnancy on eBay. The winning bid of $1,000 went to a California Internet company, giving it exclusive rights to temporarily tattoo its brand-name on Francis's belly and broadcast the birth of her daughter live on the Internet. The baby is due any day....

March 15, 2006 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Man Says Stripper Delivered a Rob-O-Gram

A retired salesman alleged a stripper and her friend beat and robbed him in his home. John Skinner, 54, said he was on his way to Bible study on Jan. 23 when exotic dancer Maureen Murphy, 25, knocked on his door and offered him a free strip-o-gram.

Murphy said a friend had already paid for the show, police said.

When Skinner agreed to let her perform, knife wielding Richard Adam, 23, allegedly forced his way inside and told Skinner he owed Murphy, owner of Bikini Assassins, and another woman money for earlier services.

Skinner said he owed Talbert money for sex one time but not for a previous time when he said she fell asleep before they could have sex....

March 14, 2006 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Ah, what I wouldn't give to hear Triumph's take on this fad.

By the way - isn't red dye likely to be environmentally evil? Hopefully they are using something natural to get their colors.

European toilet paper gets passionate

After launching black toilet paper last year, one of Europe's biggest producers of household paper products has introduced a new red version for those wanting to inject more passion into their bathrooms.

Portugal's Renova introduced its new line of red toilet paper -- along with black paper handkerchiefs -- at upscale stores in Austria, France, Germany, Portugal, Spain and the Netherlands last month and it plans to make the items available in other markets, including the US, over the coming months.

"It is a red that makes a huge impact, like a Ferrari," Renova international brand manager Jose Manuel Pinheiro told AFP....

March 13, 2006 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Customers Cook Up Trouble With Fake Penis

A woman who claimed she was trying to cheat on a drug test was behind a bizarre incident in which a frightened convenience store clerk thought she had microwaved a severed penis, police said.

The clerk at the store outside Pittsburgh actually microwaved a prosthetic device used to cheat on drug tests, police said Friday.

The incident unfolded late Thursday afternoon when a man and a woman entered the store and the man asked the clerk, "Can you microwave something for me? It's a life-or-death situation," according to an account the woman later gave police.

The man asked for paper towels, wrapped an object in them, and had the clerk microwave the item for 20 seconds, said McKeesport police Chief Joseph Pero.

When it was finished, the clerk handed the item back to the man and saw what she thought was a severed penis, Pero said....

February 25, 2006 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder, Sexual Humor, Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Just the other day, while availing myself of the porcelein facilities, I too noted a dearth of that which one uses to cleanse one's delicate pink rosebud "apres le poop," and gazed darkly upon the perpetator of such ignominy, to wit one husband (aka "the SOB who should know better, dammit!")....so despite my abhorrence of all acts of violence....I can almost understand the murderous impulse behind this truly sick crime...

Fla. Man Kills Roommate Over Toilet Paper

MOSS BLUFF, Fla. - A man accused of fatally beating his roommate with a sledgehammer and a claw hammer because there was no toilet paper in their home has been arrested.....

February 21, 2006 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

And even more gruesome...!

Worker charged in urine incident

A nursing assistant dripped urine on the face of an 83-year-old resident of a suburban care center, then threw a soiled diaper at his head after he asked for help, DuPage County authorities said Thursday.

Jamika Rush, 24, has been charged with abuse of a long-term care center resident, a felony that carries a maximum five-year prison term, DuPage County State's Attorney Joseph Birkett said....

January 26, 2006 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

There's a crappy diaper caper fouling up the local landscape in Wisconsin. May I be the first to say EEEEEEUW. (OK, I'm surely not the first since the poor people living in Mount Pleasant have probably said that and much much more.)

You might ask yourself "why would someone do this?" and indeed, I find myself pondering the possibilities. Is this a moral judgment on the people of Mt. Pleasant (I'm sure Pat Robertson must have an opinion)?

Maybe it's a cynical political ploy to change the town's name to Mt. Unpleasant? A toxic targeting of Braun Road - punishment, perhaps, for sharing a name with Eva, or maybe even Werner von? Or perhaps it's part of some torrid love/jealousy/revenge scenario soon to be featured on Court TV and later on Lifetime, as a movie starring Meredith Baxter? Or is it just a lazy person who can't bother driving his garbage to the dump? Or perhaps a physically and mentally impaired person who is acting out some weird scenario? Oh please God, just let this not be an adult baby gone gaga (or googoo, for that matter).

The Diaper Dumper gives a whole new meaning to the term "dirty bombs."

A dirty business: Braun Road residents lash out at diaper dumper

MOUNT PLEASANT - Jenny Van Pool wants to put a sign up on Braun Road near Interstate 94: "Want me to come take a dump in your yard?" She's upset over the dirty adult diapers that appear in the ditch on a regular basis. Friday afternoon there were nearly two dozen diapers clearly visible in the ditch and surrounding fields in the blocks of Braun Road east of Interstate 94.

Several months ago one of her neighbors put up a big wooden sign that read "Take your s*** home with you" that, for a time, effectively stopped the tide of diapers.

"As soon as it was removed, there were piles of them," Van Pool said. "Why should we living on our street have to pick up someone else's crap? You got to have gloves to pick them up. You got to have gloves. It's so nasty...."

January 9, 2006 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Man Accused of Lobbing Urine Into Yards

CLIVE, Iowa - A Nebraska man has been arrested in central Iowa for allegedly delivering some unwanted Christmas gifts. Reno Tobler, 54, was arrested Thursday in Clive after police caught him lobbing urine bottles into backyards.

"We've got a Grinch that has been lobbing urine," said Clive Police Chief Robert Cox. "Since this fall, we've had eight to 10 incidents reported where people have found containers full of urine thrown into their backyards."

Tobler is a truck driver whose route regularly takes him to the Clive area. He was charged with littering and harassment for allegedly tossing detergent-sized bottles of his urine over fences.

Tobler told police that it was a longtime hobby of his to deliver the bottles.....

It occurs to me...this guy probably won't do any jail time for this...or find himself facing prosecutors determined to take him down. Whereas if he'd been caught spanking or doing bondage with a consenting adult at a club in this same town, what do you bet the law would come down on him harder than a two-ton paddle?

December 28, 2005 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

I blogged this the other day. Now it turns out the cops think she was forced to swallow it. Eeeep.

Swallowing Cell Phone May Not Be Voluntary

A woman who police thought deliberately tried to swallow her cell phone during an argument with her boyfriend was apparently the victim of an assault instead, authorities said.

Police have a suspect in the bizarre incident that sent the 24-year-old woman to the hospital last week, Sgt. Allen Kintz said. Police would not say whether the boyfriend was the suspect and would not explain exactly what they believe happened.

"It appears she didn't voluntarily swallow this phone," Kintz said. "It's not quite the way it was first portrayed...."

December 26, 2005 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

This has been sitting in my files forever. I think I found it on an BDSM personals site. I have no idea why anyone would post this image. I have no idea what the image is supposed to represent or whether the woman is (a) real (b) a doll (c) an alternate life form. I have no idea if whoever posted this demonic homage to his penis thought this was just the kind of picture that would make women fall instantly in love. Unless he is hoping to hook up with greys?

And, I shamefully confess I have no idea why I've kept this picture - or why I will pop it open now and again and stare at it in puzzled fascination. Help me purge myself of this strange fetish for a photo I can't figure out. You look at it. Then I won't feel so alone.

December 24, 2005 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Good Lord, I have enough trouble swallowing multi-vitamin pills!

Woman Swallows Cell Phone After Argument

BLUE SPRINGS, Mo. - A lovers' dispute over a cell phone ended suddenly when the woman swallowed the phone whole, police said.

Police said they received a call at 4:52 a.m. Friday from a Blue Springs man who said his girlfriend was having trouble breathing. When they arrived at the house they found the 24-year-old woman had a cell phone lodged in her throat.

"He wanted the phone and she wouldn't give it to him, so she attempted to swallow it," Detective Sgt. Steve Decker of the Blue Springs Police Department. "She just put the entire phone in her mouth so he couldn't get it...."

December 24, 2005 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

I was so surprised to see this photo on Yahoo! Naturally, I felt a little guilty that one of my first thoughts was that she looked strangely hot, with the decolletage and all. I mean, this really looks like a bondage shoot's money shot. Crime victims generally look rumpled and messy and ashen and dazed. Still I felt so guilty because OMG the poor thing, how awful, how terrifying. OMG.

I showed it to Will.

"I think I've seen that before," he said drily. "In some porn thing somewhere."

"You're kidding!"

"Look at her hair," he pointed out. "It's perfectly coiffed! And her make-up is perfect too."

Hummm!

I asked Jen.

"OK, ok, I confess, I'm a sick bitch," I IM'd her, "Now look at this picture - kind of sexy, no?"

She replied. "The poor thing! But..indeed." Then she pensively added, "Are you sure it's real? I've seen that same gag in tons of bondage movies."

HUMMMM.

So readers - what do you think? Is this a real victim? Or has someone at "Citizen Council" done a little creative marketing and perhaps borrowed an image from, oh, the portfolio of someone like Mexican-American porn star Ariel Rose to draw attention to their very worthy cause?

With the spate of revelations about journalists inventing stories and editors not vetting articles or images to find out if they are what they claim to be, it's gotten hard to believe anything you see on a media site.

In this photo released by the Mexican non governmental agency, Citizen Council for Public Safety...an unidentified woman is seen inside a trunk of a car, liberated by police after being kidnapped in Mexico in the year 2005....

By the way, this photo has generated a 5-star rating on Yahoo!

HUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

December 20, 2005 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (14) | TrackBack

Ooooh, this is creepy.

Pipe Problem Tied to Naked Man in Basement

A plumbing problem at a Spokane home turned out to be a naked man. Police say a woman who thought she was having a problem with water pipes beneath the floor called the Water Department. Employees found the basement barricaded, and when they determined there was someone behind the door, they called police.

Police broke through the door, found the naked man and took him into custody. They searched the basement but found no clothing for the man....

December 18, 2005 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Ersatz Santa charged after dropping pants

It wasn't eight tiny reindeer, but a police cruiser that took a Massachusetts man dressed as Santa Claus away from the Mall at Rockingham Park on Sunday, after he was arrested for dropping his pants in front of onlookers, police said.

If Richard Mullen, 52, of Malden, Mass., hadn't been wearing sweatpants under his Santa costume, he would be facing charges of indecent exposure rather than disorderly conduct for allegedly dropping his Santa pants multiple times in the Salem mall Sunday afternoon, Salem Police Capt. Robert Larsen said....

December 7, 2005 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

As Will noted when I read him this appalling piece, "Crime is like Job Corps for people who are too stupid to get a job at Wal-Mart."

She wanted to kill four people - for a block of Mexican cheese! AGGHHHHH!

Woman Allegedly Hires Hit Man for Cheese

In an unusual case of mistaken identity, a woman who thought a block of white cheese was cocaine is charged with trying to hire a hit man to rob and kill four men. The woman also was mistaken about the hit man. He turned out to be an undercover police officer.....

December 7, 2005 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

This is so strange. Why would they tell employees to wear flesh-colored underwear?

(In fact, why are they talking to employees about their underwear at all?)

Bank apologizes for grooming guide

One of Australia's largest banks apologized on Monday for a "grooming handbook" that suggested staff wear flesh-colored underwear and advised against shiny stockings because they make legs look fatter....

December 6, 2005 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Oh come now.

Excuse me? Can you please repeat that address?

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Michael Fisk is a street fighting man. And the street he's fighting is named Dicks.

Fisk, who lives on Dicks Street in the Los Angeles suburb of West Hollywood, has gone to city hall to get the road's name changed -- saying that its slang meaning has made life difficult for homeowners.

"Since we moved in four years ago its just become such a hassle," Fisk said. "It's embarrassing. Something definitely needs to be changed. I realize that it's a man's name, but words change meaning, and this one has...."

November 24, 2005 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Would you marry someone who shot you in the genitals?

Woman Plans to Marry Man Who Shot Her

A woman said she still plans to marry the man who shot her in the groin and then held her hostage in his family's garage for six days.

Tina Marie Stebbins revealed her intentions in a letter released Monday as her boyfriend, Christian Leroy Lindblad, was sentenced to 20 years in prison for shooting her in June 2002.

"I love Christian today as deeply as I loved him before this awful thing happened to us," Stebbins wrote in a victim impact statement. "We are soul mates."

She added: "I want to tell you all that I have forgiven Christian. And I pray that Christian has forgiven me for failing him when he needed me most...."

November 16, 2005 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Thanks to Paul for pointing me to this update in the ongoing tale of the toilet seat that (allegedly) wouldn't let go....

Man glued to toilet may have history

DENVER, Colorado (AP) -- A man who sued Home Depot last month claiming a prank left him glued to a toilet seat made a similar allegation about another restroom more than a year ago, an official told a newspaper.

Bob Dougherty's lawsuit alleges employees at the store ignored his pleas for help on the day before Halloween 2003 because they thought he was kidding.

But Ron Trzepacz, former director of operations for the town of Nederland, where Dougherty lives, told the Rocky Mountain News in Tuesday's editions that Dougherty told him in the summer of 2004 he was glued to a toilet seat in the town's visitor center but pulled himself free.....

November 9, 2005 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Aaaagh.

Talk about non-consensual humiliation!

Man Sues After Using Glue-Covered Toilet

BOULDER, Colorado - A hardware retailer Home Depot has found itself in a sticky situation, defending a lawsuit filed by a man who claims the chain's Louisville store ignored his cries for help after he fell victim to a prank and was glued to a toilet seat.

Bob Dougherty, 57, of Nederland, said he became stuck to a bathroom toilet seat on which somebody had smeared glue on Oct. 30, 2003, and felt "tremendous panic" when he realized he was stuck.

"They left me there, going through all that stress," Dougherty told The (Boulder) Daily Camera. "They just let me rot."

His lawsuit, filed Friday said Dougherty was recovering from heart bypass surgery at the time and thought he was having a heart attack. A store employee who heard him calling for help informed the head clerk via radio, but the head clerk "believed it to be a hoax," the lawsuit said....

The lawsuit said after about 15 minutes, store officials called for an ambulance. Paramedics unbolted the toilet seat, and while wheeling a "frightened and humiliated" Dougherty out of the store, he passed out....

November 3, 2005 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

EEEEEEEEEEEE! WHAT were they thinking?!

Six Stabbed at 1-Year-Old's Birthday Party

Six people were stabbed early Sunday during a melee at a 1-year-old's birthday party, police said. It apparently started when a downstairs neighbor went upstairs to complain about the noise.

The injured were taken to Hartford and St. Francis hospitals, where they were treated for stab wounds to their faces and necks. All were later released.

Police said they received several 911 calls around 12:45 a.m. They arrived at a two-family home on Crosby Street to find dozens of people running around in a thunderstorm. Some were screaming and bleeding.

Most spoke only Spanish, adding to the chaos....

October 30, 2005 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Governor Apologizes for Slip of the Tongue

ST. PAUL - Gov. Tim Pawlenty apologized for an embarrassing slip of the tongue during the Minnesota Wild's season opener Wednesday night as he led the crowd in a cheer.

The script called for him to say: "It's time to drop the puck. So everybody say it with me — 'Let's play hockey!'"

It was the governor's tripping over the word "puck" that provoked the snickers. Instead of telling people to drop the puck, he used a very similar-sounding word that made him sound more like Tony Soprano than his usual smooth-talking self.

"It was a genuine slip of the tongue," Pawlenty said Thursday. "I realized as I was starting to say puck that other sounds were coming out of my mouth....

October 9, 2005 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

I'd think twice before buying any ready-made chocolate pudding from that place too....

Company Says Clerk Urinated Into Soda

A convenience store worker has admitted urinating into a soda bottle, causing a customer who drank from it to become violently ill, his bosses say.

Publix Super Markets spokesman Dwaine Stevens said the accused employee, who works at a Pix Convenience Store in Deltona, was suspended after the company learned of the incident this week. An internal investigation is being completed.

Lab tests done by Publix on the contaminated Mountain Dew confirmed the soda contained urine, Stevens said.....

September 18, 2005 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

I must apologize to Ms. Govan. I suspect that bill was intended to go to our house. The poodle has confessed: she's been sneaking downstairs at night to watch Pay-Per-View. She claims she got confused by the advertising for adult movies featuring "doggie style."

Woman Gets Cable Bill With Derogatory Name

CHICAGO - LaChania Govan said she got bounced around by her cable company when she called to complain. She made dozens of calls and was even transferred to a person who spoke Spanish — a language she doesn't understand.

But when she got her August bill from Comcast she had no trouble understanding she'd made somebody mad. It was addressed to "Bitch Dog."

"I was like you got to be freaking kidding me," said Govan, 25. "I was so mad I couldn't even cuss."

Govan said the only thing she did to Comcast employees that might be considered rude came after a few dozen calls when she felt she was treated shabbily. "I did tell them, 'You know what, it has to be a qualification to work for your company that you have to be rude...."

In another case, Peoples Energy customer Jefferoy Barnes started getting letters addressed to "Jeffery Scrotum Bag Barnes".....

August 24, 2005 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Welcome to this week's Sunday Supplemental Sex: a day of strange or interesting stories that caught my eye last week. Today I'm starting with one of the silliest stories I've ever seen.

It's amazing what makes it into the news.

Bus driver scared of making whoopee...

An Australian bus driver who called police after he found a package on his bus which emitted a strange sound when touched was left red-faced when it turned out to be a novelty store cushion.

Just two weeks ago Sydney, Australia's largest city, adopted a New York-style "If you see something, say something" counter-terrorism campaign urging people to report unattended bags or suspicious activity around public transport.

The driver found the package on the rear seat of his bus after completing his route around the Sydney beachside of Coogee Sunday. Fearing it could be an explosive device of some kind, he called the police.

"It was an unattended item, emitting a popping sound," a police spokesman said.

"Just as a precautionary measure, police went and investigated. It's a whoopee cushion," he said....

August 7, 2005 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

With all the frightful antics going on in the US Government (yeah, both parties!), it's rather refreshing to read about a really stupid criminal. You know, the kind that gets caught....

Man's tattoo reveals serial number of illegal gun

The latest addition to the list of images to never tattoo on one's body? An illegally owned gun, complete with serial number.

When deputies in Middlesex County, Mass., served Justin Breakspear with an arrest warrant on May 19 for a breaking-and-entering incident, they found two sawed-off shotguns and a .380-caliber pistol in the basement where the suspect had been hiding.
According to Mark Lawhorne, a spokesperson for the Middlesex County Sheriff's office, Breakspear, 19, denied owning the weapons and maintained that they belonged to other people who had unrestricted access to the house.

Middlesex deputies contacted Framingham police about the discovery, and the second agency obtained a search warrant for the firearms while Breakspear was taken to jail, Lawhorne said.

As part of the booking process, deputies are required to take pictures of any identifying marks on a suspect's body, including tattoos. When Breakspear was being photographed, an officer discovered a large tattoo of a handgun on his hip. The tattoo also included the weapon's serial number.

A picture of the tattoo was sent to Framingham police, who matched the image to the handgun collected during the search, Lawhorne said....

July 15, 2005 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Aha. Methinks they meant to link to this one about...uh...urmmmm... hemadrones?

Man: Flesh-eating aliens were chasing me when I caused fatal car crash

A California man facing life in prison for crashing his car into a UPS truck will not dispute that his actions resulted in the death of the driver when his trial opens Monday in Nevada County Superior Court.

Instead, Scott Krause's defense will argue that the defendant believed he was trying to escape man-eating subterranean beings when he ran into Drew Reynolds' truck on Jan. 6, 2004.
Krause has pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity to five felony counts, including first-degree murder, carjacking, and burglary, stemming from a string of alleged criminal activities leading up to the fatal highway crash.

In three court-ordered evaluations, the defendant stated he was fleeing subterranean beings he called "hemadrones" when he carjacked a commercial vehicle near a Nevada City, Calif., gas station....

June 28, 2005 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

What does this headline have to do with this story?

Nothing.

Hope Yahoo doesn't correct it before you see it. Too funny.

Man: Flesh-eating aliens were chasing me when I caused fatal car crash

An Idaho teen faces life in prison when she is sentenced this week for the premeditated murders of her parents in September 2003.

Sarah Johnson, 18, will stand before her family and a judge in court for the first time since a Boise jury found her guilty in March of the shooting deaths of Diane and Alan Johnson in their quiet suburban home in Bellevue, Idaho....

June 28, 2005 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Police arrest killer cow

Nigerian police have arrested a cow that killed a bus driver who was urinating on a highway, a police spokesman said Thursday.

The horned African cow, which was wandering stray in the Ojo district of Nigeria's biggest city Lagos, also injured several bystanders after killing the man.

"The cow went mad, ran into a bus driver and knocked him down. Efforts to revive him were fruitless," said Lagos police spokesman Olubode Ojajuni.

Some people suggested the animal be shot, but the district police officer ordered it to be taken alive.

"You know what it will take to arrest a mad cow?" one newspaper quoted a policeman as saying. "We applied ingenuity and arrested the cow, which is now being detained at the station," he said without going into details.....

June 13, 2005 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

OH MY.

Chips Found in Place of Woman's Ashes

Two daughters have sued a synagogue after they found a potato chip can in place of their mother's remains behind the locked, glass door of her niche in a mausoleum.

When the women visited Vivian Shulman Lieberman's niche in a Houston mausoleum a year ago, they found the cedar chest containing her ashes missing and a can of sour-cream-and-onion potato chips in its place.

The ashes are still missing, said Philip Hilder, an attorney for Lieberman's two daughters.

"We have been devastated," Marcelle Lieberman said this week. "We hope we will be able to find her remains before we die, to give us closure of some sort."

Marcelle Lieberman and her sister, Harriet Lieberman Mellow, filed the lawsuit recently against Congregation Beth Israel and two funeral businesses....

In July 2003, Marcelle Lieberman visited the niche. Harriet Mellow visited that fall.

They said they returned to the mausoleum together on their father's birthday, June 10, 2004, and discovered the potato chip can in their mother's niche.

A locksmith opened the niche and Houston police took custody of the can, which still contained potato chips.

"To their added horror," the lawsuit states, "Harriet and Marcelle learned that the can had been visible in the niche for at