When Different Loving came out in 1993, the New York Times adamantly refused to review the book or attend the press-laden book signing party that Random House held at an SM club because, well, as they snootily implied to our bodaciously brave publicist, Sharyn, they were the New York Times and BDSMers were perverts. End of story.
Yesterday my oldest scene friend emailed me the link to this candid confession by a spanking fetishist, A Spanking Fetish Is Not Revealed Easily, just published in the "modern love" section of the Times.
Wow. Kind of amazing we've come this far. And yet...Kind of frustrating we haven't gone further. I mean it's very sweet that a young woman who is fearful of rejection chronicles her anxiety and ultimate relief in coming out to her lover. I heart her.
Still, I hope one day the Times will publish articles by people who have overcome all their shame and anxiety and can speak powerfully and meaningfully to the experience of BDSM, and not just their fears about being sexually different. Then I'll feel like we're having the kind of public dialogues about kink we should be having.