Gloria's Oversexed Mind

Face v. vagina: the female angst of it all

Why are some women more fastidious about what they'll put in their mouths than what they'll put in their vaginas?   It's as if they're thinking their vaginas are dirty places anyway so it doesn't matter what you put down there.  Whereas their mouths are are on their faces, which makes it really personal.  Generally speaking, a woman's face is realer to her than her own vagina.

FOUND: 1920s explicit gay/lesbian photographs nsfw

The only thing I know about these images, which sold at a private estate sale, are that they were produced around 1920. I wish I knew their backstories: who these models were, the names of the photographers, the locations of the studios, whether they were commissioned by the collector or ones he purchased from a middleman. I also wish I knew how these once-illegal images survived -- did they remain in the original owner's stash for 80 years? Did they circulate among a small, select group of friends? Their secrets are lost but I'm grateful nonetheless that they were preserved and now live on as a piece of our sexual history.

Rare image of gay male penetration, ca. 1915-1920

Extremely rare image of lesbian watersports, ca. 1920.

FOUND: Oral Acrobats NSFW NSFW NSFW, seriously, nsfw

Unless, of course, you work in the same field as me.

Anyway, I found several exceedingly rare explicit photos from the 1920s on eBay over the weekend, and will post the others tomorrow. This one was too interesting not to blog right away. She's a spry minx, isn't she?

O! the happy couples, tra la la

A funky photographic ode to loving couples....

The ones who kiss

The ones who dance

The ones who do acrobatics

And even the ones who cheat. Oops.

Cleo Dubois, Part Six: The Predator and his (willing) Prey

I'm delighted to feature the sixth amazing installment in the autobiography of the wondrous Cleo Dubois. Today's photos are, again, marvelous treasures, and Cleo's life-story continues to evolve in astonishing ways. This essay ends with a cliff-hanger that will leave you hungry for the next development. Viva Cleo!

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CLEO DUBOIS _{is a BDSM Educator, ritualist, creator of the Academy of S/M Arts, and Leather columnist . A versatile sadomasochist whose private interests lay in caring sadism, switching and cross-orientation play, she came out in the San Francisco Leather Scene in the early 80's. Her two popular docu-films, "The Pain Game" and "Tie Me Up," are available on 1 DVD, "The S/M Arts Collection," on her website www.sm-arts.com, where you will also find details about the Erotic Dominance Weekend Intensives for Men and Women. She offers private guided play to individuals and couples in the privacy of her San Francisco area dungeon, as well as office and phone consultations.}

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The Predator and his (willing) Prey

As the century turned I dug deep into my psyche with my kink-aware therapist. I dredged up old traumas, cleaned house, so to speak, and freed the flames of my creative energy. I decided to make a film that would show the heart of BDSM and I found what I wanted. Creed had signed up to be my willing masochistic bottom at Thunder in the Mountains Leather Conference. We met and connected at first sight: her eyes were so vibrant, her attitude so powerful in her proud desire to serve, and she was beautiful! Our scene blew the roof off Denver’s Hyatt!

I just had to ask her if she’d be in my movie, the one I was definitely going to make, and gave her a year to answer. I had no experience, but I had friends who did: Annie Sprinkle featured in several videos I respected, Neon Weiss who worked with a production company and offered to be my director and Fakir who has a great eye for visual composition. I followed their advice to get a professional crew for sound, camera, and per Annie Sprinkle, a make-up artist too. In my home and dungeon, on a shoestring budget, over one unforgettable weekend, we shot The Pain Game, a queer and passionate endeavor. Everyone shared the vision: capturing the magic of BDSM in real play, safe, hot and connected.

   

   

In 2001 the Pain Game premiered at San Francisco Frameline LGBT festival, soon also screened in Paris, Berlin and Amsterdam… I felt empowered beyond my wildest hopes and very much in demand. Couples of all orientations looking to reignite their erotic connection despite disparity of taste and fetishes found their way to my Academy of SM Arts. I became a BDSM coach.

It was time for me to learn what I was teaching! Not “my way or the highway” but mutual transparency and negotiated agreements. Fakir and I made a weekly date night and honored it.

Fortunately in our San Francisco leathersex community we also got some of our needs met openly with informed consent at semi-public play parties. Black Sheets, the bimonthly pansexual SM sex party for gay and bi-kinksters a friend of ours ran, gave us a hot playground where, after 15 years at odds, safer sex and SM merged in pure raw encounters.

Opening the door to release your inner beast can be quite explosive. I was ready to reclaim a part of my sexuality shut down by the violent rape I survived in my late teens. Fakir could not embrace rough dominance, not his way! The fiery warrior I was deep inside craved to be made to give up erotic control to an aggressive man in whom I had trust and lust.

For years I had had a serious crush on John, our bodyworker. Although he presented as a charming Don Juan with no experience in the Scene, I sensed his appetite for dominance and rough sex. Each visit, he set his massage table up in my quiet little dungeon, where many of my toys grace the walls. That could not have helped but feed his erotic imagination.

A lone wolf whose untamed energy I found irresistible, I pursued him. I wanted him to take me down hard and make me fly. I asked only for a RED safeword. I knew bottoming to him would be a very powerful reclaiming sexual experience. The night John took me home, his inner predator came out full force. He pinned me down, spanked me hard, demanding I remain still and take it for him. He did not think twice about grabbing my hair and fucking my face. My orgasms were his to command. Our torrid dates made me beg for more.

Not from the BDSM community, he was not schooled in aftercare. He did not want to talk about the ritual violence of our sexual encounters. Without support, it was only a few months later he that dismissed me with the click of an email. I was a mess. Fakir stood by me and pointed out that my lone wolf was a coward who scared himself with his own dark side. Still, with all the support I had, it took me a few months to let go of him, my anger and my lust. Stronger, I realized that intimacy does not always come in the hot sex package. I had an extra ordinary loving partner and counted my blessings….

And then, one evening in late October, Alan walked into my dungeon looking for Top training…little did I know he and his wife would really become our family.

--Cleo Dubois

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I bet you can't wait for December. If you haven't already, read the full series of Cleo's autobiographical essays now:

Part One      Part Two      Part Three      Part Four      Part Five

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Interested in Fakir’s explorations? Visit his web site for photos, description and video clips of his feature length documentary movie DANCES SACRED & PROFANE and huge photographic art book SPIRIT + FLESH at: http://www.fakir.org/store/index.html

Cleo Dubois Academy of S/M Arts
email: CleoDubois@sm-arts.com
http://www.sm-arts.com
Tel:(650)322-0124

Time is running out to sign up for the next Erotic Dominance Weekend Intensive for Women: Tops and Switches, November 14-15 at the SF Citadel. Dominate with presence and passion, competence and compassion! Hands on playshops with our trained Academy volunteers bottoms, workbook and lots of personal attention from Cleo Dubois, Eve Minax and Selina Raven.

Enrollment is now open for the January 29-31 (2010) Weekend for Dominant Men and those who Switch.

Find out more at  www.sm-arts.com/intensives/women.html

Anyone, Top, bottoms, switches, curious, partnered or not, visiting the San Francisco Bay Area is welcome to contact me for a private consultation or guided play in my San Francisco Peninsula dungeon.

FOUND: Boys Will Be Girls magazine

A rare cover from a femdom/feminization rag published by "Exotique" in 1958. Wish I knew more about this one! Anyone know the publisher or recognize the artist?

Kickin' it with Tantra Cafe tonight at 10

Get an hour of Gloria's sexual power tonight!

Listen to my interview by Laurie Handler, Tantra teacher, author, and radio-host of Tantra Cafe, tonight, October 21, at 10 pm. Laurie and I had a fascinating, fast-paced conversation about sex, spirituality and transformational aspects of BDSM that will give you brain candy you may savor for a nice long while.

How to listen to me on Tantra Café:

At 10 pm Eastern/7 pm Pacific tonight, Wednesday, October 21:
log on to: www.bbsradio.com/listen_now.php and click on Station 2.

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Can't be there tonight?

The show will be rebroadcast:

Saturday, October 24: 11pm Eastern (8pm Pacific) on Station 2

Sunday, October 25: 3pm Eastern (noon Pacific) on Station 1

If you can't make any of the above date, search the archives of WebTalkRadio.net.

iTunes subscribers: search "Tantra Café."

The show will also be searchable on TantraCafe.com.

It's the caring, stupid

Oh yeah. Yet another study was just published showing that husbands who do more housework get more sex from their wives. What distinguishes this study from previous studies on the same dull topic discovers it isn't because women are turned on by men mincing around in aprons (though, of course, some of us are...).

It's because (wait for the surprise...wait...wait a little longer)...EUREKA! Men who are genuinely committed to their marriages and who place an emphasis on prioritizing equality, respect, intimacy and communication with their wives get more sex.

Startling Revelation #1:

[One] husband...happily married for 20 years, says housework reflects a deeper bond. ...."Sharing chores reflects a willingness to hold my wife's needs and wants on a par with my own. For us, the key to intimacy is the sharing and minimization of selfishness." His wife, a nurse, agrees.

WOW! You mean men who are responsible, loving and consistently demonstrate that they care about their wives get laid more? WOW. Color me shocked. I'm sure we all figured it was the cold-hearted, lazy-ass, egotistical swine who treat their wives like automatons who got the hot sex.

Startling Revelation #2: men who spend a lot of time at home get more sex than men who are never home.

John Rogitz, a San Diego attorney who has been married for 30 years, says, "If you're both around doing housework, that also means you are alone together, and in a place where both are relaxed and comfortable." He adds, "It's pretty hard to have sex when you're not together in a place that permits it."

A little further down in the story you'll learn the startling downside of housework for men, i.e., Felix Unger doesn't get laid. Yeah, who woulda thunk it?

I can't bear to go on.   Read it and weep:

A new study shows that for husbands and wives alike, the more housework you do, the more often you are likely to have sex with your spouse.

Earlier studies have hinted at this connection for men; the sight of a husband mopping the floor or doing dishes sparks affection in the hearts of many wives. But the more-housework-equals-more-sex link for wives, documented in a study of 6,877 married couples published online recently in the Journal of Family Issues, is a surprise.

via online.wsj.com

Final comment: for me, the problem with the story is the way it's reported. None of the surprising revelations should be a surprise to a sane adult. I don't object to the study itself.  Quite the opposite. I'm relieved when studies prove something that people with common sense already knew, because, well... _(whispering) I think we are in the minority.

Seeking sound sex information?

My friend and colleague, "Dr. Dick," recently launched a sex-positive portal which offers links to a selection of the best of the best sites for everything from informative sex blogs, sex-positive porn, sex-positive feminists, and more. Every link on his list is worth visiting.

sexpositiveportal.com

Romantic Couplings in vintage images

Sex is sweet. Sex is true. Sex is the most romantic thing two people can do.

1910 postcard

French postcards, ca. 1920s.