Gloria's Oversexed Mind

Not sure what this Japanese fashion designer was trying to say here....

...but methinks more than a few pervs are now wishing they could touch their lips to hers....

August 14, 2008 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (1)

I found these in different places and assume they're different men...yet somehow they seem strangely similar. And I do mean strangely similar.

August 1, 2008 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (2)

I've still got some select freaky footwear images left over my last week's shoe fetish extravaganza, so expect to see some more this week from my depraved collection.

Not quite sure what to say about this one, nor do I know if it's something that a model wore or, again, just a flight of fantasy by some fetishistic footwear designer....

July 30, 2008 in Post-Modern Pop Culture, Sex and Culture, Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (1)

1967 book cover.

July 30, 2008 in Sex and Arts, Sex and Sadomasochism, Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

July 28, 2008 in Post-Modern Pop Culture, Sex and Culture, Sexual Humor, Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

Ah, so this is how brains have fun.

from MIT Steer Roast

July 28, 2008 in Post-Modern Pop Culture, Sexual Beauty, Sexual Humor, Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

According to Snopes, the rumor China is recycling Condom into hair bands is true. Great idea on principle: save the planet and tie up your hair.

However they note that they can't yet determine if another rumor whether or not some of those recycled condoms were USED. Ew. Another reason to buy American.

July 20, 2008 in Post-Modern Pop Culture, Sex and Culture, Sexual Health, Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (2)

Quirky little news-bit last week from New Hampshire that made me go...WHAT!? Seriously? Is this even possible? And, if so, should I be strategically positioning men with multiple genital piercings during thunderstorms just to see how it works?

A 21-year-old Antrim woman is recovering after being struck by lightning Wednesday night. The bolt hit her feet and came out through her nose ring.

"She had walked into the garage to go outside to turn off the faucet. The light came in through the garage and hit her," Jessica's mother, Danielle Taylor told WBZ.

"It was like a red flash that came from her feet and she was thrown into my arms. She was blue and purple, and stiff as a board."

Link:
Lightning Strike Leaves New Hampshire Woman Through Nose Ring

Mother Nature is sooooooooooooooo non-consensual!

July 14, 2008 in Post-Traumatic Tabloid Disorder, Sex and Sadomasochism, Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

Let this serve as your perverted Rorschach test of the week and 'splain it to me, Lucy.

Is it, as my husband suggested, a quadruple amputee trapped in a crib? "Cribbing Helena," he quipped.

A woman in swaddling and a crib's as some sort of Halloween'y prank?

An early feminist, lampooning the bondage of motherhood?

An Adult Baby Girl of yore being humiliated in her front yard?

What do you see?

July 11, 2008 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (1)

My girl Ketzl found this interview with Uma Thurman's father.

From an interview with the first American ordained as a Tibetan monk, Robert Thurman (father of Uma):

What do you think about when you meditate?

Usually, some form of trying to excavate any kind of negative thing cycling in the mind and turn it toward the positive. For example, when I am annoyed with Dick Cheney, I meditate on how Dick Cheney was my mother in a previous life and nursed me at his breast.

You mean you fantasize about being breast-fed by Dick Cheney?

It’s a fantasy of releasing fear and developing affection. It’s a way of coming back to feeling grateful toward him and seeing his positive side, finding the mother in Dick Cheney.

July 6, 2008 in Post-Modern Pop Culture, Sex and Spirituality, Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (2)

Aha! I knew there had to be at least one economic disaster we can't blame on George Bush.

Husband and wife Francisco and Casilda Figueiredo are among the last exponents of a traditional Portuguese handicraft -- making ornamental ceramic penises.

For more than three decades, the couple have carefully shaped thousands of ceramic male organs, moulding them into upright shapes and painting them in life-like colours for export to Germany, France and North America.

Francisco and Casilda, aged 68 and 65, still toil away in a humble village workshop in the Caldas da Rainha region, about 100 km (60 miles) north of Lisbon, but say the tradition is dying out.

"The days of the ceramics trade here are numbered, I see no possibility of survival," Francisco said as he prepared moulds of the couple's top-of-the-range two-foot phallic-shaped bottles in his workshop.

The couple produce ceramic mugs with a penis sticking out of the bottom or the side, penis-shaped bottles and ceramic soccer figures with the male organ popping out from under a flag.

Story and image: Couple maintain Portugal's ceramic penis tradition

July 5, 2008 in Sex and Culture, Sex and History, Sexual Humor, Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

via Boing Boing, a Canadian tattooist who's taking things to a new extreme.

Bizarre magazine interviews a Montreal gentleman named Rick who is tattooing his entire body to look like the living dead. From the interview (photo by Neville Elder):

What look are you trying to achieve with your tattoos?

They’re about the human body as a decomposing corpse – the art of a rotting cadaver. It’s also a tribute to horror movies, which I love.

Link: Tattooed living zombie

Raise your hand if you'd like to be a fly on the wall the day this guy asks his girl's father for her hand in marriage.

July 5, 2008 in Post-Modern Pop Culture, Sex and Arts, Sexual Beauty, Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (1)

Spore is coming!

And boy is it coming. And coming.

The pre-release of teaser technology to get people hooked on the game is already turning some otherwise reasonably mature adults (blinking at my ketzl) into freaky-sex-crazed Spore-aholics. I checked out some of the colorful characters people have uploaded to YouTube. As you'll see, they're totally cocked up.

July 5, 2008 in Post-Modern Pop Culture, Sex and Technology, Sex On-Line, Sexual Humor, Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (1)

from Gizmodo:

Adrienne So over at Slate has used her natural gifts to come up with the most genius idea yet: an energy-generating bra. Instead of just holding her boobs in place and dispelling that excess kinetic energy into, I don't know, heat, why not use it to power a gadget? According to a breast specialist, a D-cup in a lousy bra moves up to 35-inches up and down during exercise. Professor Wang of Georgia Tech is working on just this problem, using nanowires inside fabric to convert that visual spectacle into something useful. But is it enough to power an average iPod? This Wang says yes.

Link: The Breast Motion Power Generator is a Genius Idea

June 24, 2008 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (1)

"But officer, I swear I thought it was just talcum powder!"

Oh dear me.

Feds say man wore diaper full of heroin

Frank Keys Jr. faces up to 40 years in prison after he was found cruising down the highway with more than 200 grams of heroin in the diaper he was wearing, federal officials said.

June 16, 2008 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

I was idly surfing eBay on "bondage" and saw there were listings in the health and personal care category. Hmmm....are restraints now being touted as a natural remedy for whatever ails you, I wistfully wondered. No, darn it, it's manufacturers who co-opted the word (and concept) to spice up sales for otherwise normal drug-store beauty goop.

Guess it's not a big leap to use the name "bondage" on hair goop -- I'm assuming this stuff tames your mane

But, despite the cute corset that's clearly going to draw your eye to the product -- what made someone associate bondage with tanning goop? (Or, for that matter, with Pepto Bismal? Euwww.)

Maybe it's all some kind of sarcastic post-modern statement on being a slave to fashion...

June 7, 2008 in Sex and Culture, Sex and Sadomasochism, Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

Just when you think you've heard it all, a new fetish appears on your horizons. Mechaphilia: erotic fascination with machines. Or, in this particular case, with cars.

Mechaphiliac Admits to 'Having Sex with' 1,000 Cars

We know what it's like to fall in love with a car, and we have nothing at all against a little steamy-window sex in the backseat of a '67 Chevy -- as long as you're with someone else.

Edward Smith, on the other hand, currently "lives with" a white Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla whom he calls his "girlfriend."

Smith, a self-professed "romantic," writes poems about his cars, and says he first had sex with a car at the age of 15. Since then, he says he's only been attracted to autos, not humans.

Oh, sure, I've known people who get aroused by doing things in cars, ho-hum, and even a special few who are quite specific about the particular type of car they enjoy for their romps. But people who get aroused BY cars....without any other humans involved? I'm guessing it's fairly rare. (And, no, creaming your jeans over the latest greatest model on a show-room floor does not count.)

But where there's one person with a fetish -- you can always find another with the same or similar fetish. Haven't located a chat-forum for people who are revved by motors, but a little googling yielded a memoir titled MECHAPHILIA on Amazon, detailing the author's life-long erotic fascination with machines.

Well COOOOL. I love strange fetishes and this one gives the expression "turned on" a whole new dimension.

May 28, 2008 in Sex and Sadomasochism, Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (2)

Well...maybe not word for word.... :)

(Another thanks to Mike for this. Dude, you are the flying penis KING!)

May 21, 2008 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (1)

She's only a scale model...but if she were life size...would you?

from that wellspring of weirdness known as eBay - Check out the auction.

May 20, 2008 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (5)

Thanks to Mike for the link to this truly one-of-a-kind prank played on famous chess champ, Garry Kasparov.

Sure wish I knew what he said to make everyone laugh!

May 20, 2008 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (3)

I have only one question.

WHY?

Guinness World Record holder for the 'Most Pierced Woman', Elaine Davidson....showing some of her five thousand nine hundred and twenty piercings

LINK

May 19, 2008 in Post-Modern Pop Culture, Sex and History, Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (1)

All I can say is hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Australian politician admits sniffing woman's chair

An Australian political leader broke down at a news conference Tuesday as he admitted that he had sniffed the chair of a female colleague.

Apparently he is a repeat offender too.

Buswell has previously admitted to snapping the bra of a staffer for the Labor Party.

April 30, 2008 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (2)

April 23, 2008 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

There are fetishes, and then there are fetishes. This one grabbed national media attention last week.

Aside from nearly falling out when the reporter reports that the family didn't want to be interviewed (really? you mean the Mrs. didn't want to explain to reporters how she felt when the cops showed up to tell her that her husband was a pervert? gee!)....and feeling kind of overwhelmed with pity for the kids (and the wife) who will never be able to live it down in a small community like that (horrible to think what kind of insults and jeers the kids are facing from peers and seriously hope they get counseling right away to cope).... I also can't help wondering the whys and whats of the father's sexual impulses.

Was it a genuine fetish for a patio table that drove him? Or (my guess) the humiliation and exhibitionism of it? Or (also my guess) the vaguely pedophiliac urge to be seen so humiliated by schoolchildren? I'm guessing it wasn't that he sat up late at night thinking about what a sexy patio table he had and how he'd like to show it who's boss...but rather that he wanted to do the freakiest thing imaginable and possibly even get caught at it. I think that if he really had a fetish for the table he'd keep it in a garage where he could enjoy its charms in private. You know: take his time lubing the hole and speaking tender nothings to it. But the fact that he did it on his front porch, during hours when kids were coming and going to the school nearby, suggests not a fetish but some kind of a pathological impulse that was less about sex and a lot more about self-destructiveness and self-hatred. One of the weird tragedies of sexuality, isn't it, that acts of rage or despair that involve sex can come across as a big bad joke that the world laughs at. (I confess I giggled the first time I heard this story too.)

April 7, 2008 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (5)

A kiwi was just sentenced to community service for phoning the police and claiming he had been raped by a wombat.

A New Zealand man has been sentenced to community service after telling police he had been raped by a wombat and the experience had caused him to start speaking "Australian".....

Now for the real shocker:

Prosecutors said alcohol played a large part in Cradock's life.

Really?

I was thinking LSD.

Kind of sad that the courts saw fit to punish him for the stoned/drunk call. I wonder if NZ is in the habit of prosecuting everyone who calls the cops to make weird alcohol-induced claims, or whether they singled out the wombat-rapee for special treatment.

March 31, 2008 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

For the pervert who has everything, labia enhancers. Though according to Gizmodo, these panties are for men.

Huh??

via Gizmodo:

Camel Toe: Japanese Party Pants Say "Read My Lips"

March 30, 2008 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

In case you thought being a man is hard, consider the male squid.

via Boing-Boing

.....males get round their inferior size by being endowed with a particularly long penis, which means they can inject the female without having to get too close to her chomping beak. The male's sexual organ is actually a bit like a high-pressure fire hose and is normally nearly as long as his body - excluding legs and head.

"But having such a big penis does have one drawback: it seems that co-ordinating eight legs, two feeding tentacles and a huge penis, whilst fending off an irate female, is a bit too much to ask, and one of the two males stranded on the Spanish coast had accidentally injected himself with sperm packages in the legs and body....

Oopsie! Don't you just hate when that happens?

March 26, 2008 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

March 18, 2008 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

Proving that it takes all kinds...

Miss Plus America Pageant System

Coronet Productions is entity, committed to excellence in pageantry and owned by Christian women who believe in healthy competition, however difficult, that promotes individuality, confidence and overall achievement among all contestants. Coronet Productions is an organization devoted to promoting the sophisticated, ambitious, responsible and community service oriented full-figured woman of the new millennium.

March 3, 2008 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

I'm sure I could lend a hand. Or two.

via Sex is Funny.

Large Penis Support Group - LPSG.ORG

February 28, 2008 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

Uhhh...he was "hoping to blend in" with a crowd of teenage girls?

Something tells me this poor fellow watched a few too many re-runs of Bosom Buddies...

"Girl" at school was 39-year-old man

A Japanese man was arrested for trespassing this week after turning up at a high school dressed in a girl's uniform and a long wig, local police said.

Thirty-nine-year-old Tetsunori Nanpei told police he had bought the uniform over the Internet and put it on to take a stroll near the school in Saitama, north of Tokyo, on Wednesday, the daily Asahi Shimbun said.

When students standing outside the gates started to scream at the sight of him, he dashed inside the school grounds, hoping to blend in with the crowds of teenagers, the paper said.

They also screamed, forcing the man to flee, losing his wig in the process....

February 25, 2008 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (1)

Fun little feature from Metro Times Detroit - readers confessing varied wild and woolly sex secrets.

"I want to tell all of my former lovers that I've always been a transgendered person, and I've probably worn all of their clothes." - Rob, 27

read more confessions

February 18, 2008 in Post-Modern Pop Culture, Sex and Relationships, Sex and Sadomasochism, Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

via Gizmodo

February 17, 2008 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (1)

Thanks to Mike for sending this link to the scariest stuff toy I've ever seen. You were warned!

January 19, 2008 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

I was redoing some Amazon links today, and typed in my name to get the html codes for my books when, to my horror, this popped up:

Obviously someone figured out a way to input any name and create a t-shirt...though Jen speculates this may mean someone actually had such a t-shirt made for them and now it's stuck in their system...along with (argh) Judge Judy and (oh dear me) Benazir Bhutto. There's another version which says "Gloria Brame loves me" which, personally, seems a little less weird. (Of course I love you! I love you all! SMOOCH SMOOCH SMOOCH SMOOCH! How could I not? You're so adorable, so intelligent, so....waitaminute, do I even know you? Oh, who cares, I love you anyway!)

No, seriously, this is just so wrong. Not sure if I should applaud the vendor's entrepreneurial spirit or ask for a cut of the profits... But wtf, I'll link to it anyway.

January 9, 2008 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (4)

I may never eat yogurt again.

via Milk and Cookies:

Sexy Yogurt Noid

December 12, 2007 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

Dan Savage reports on a totally mind-bending news story about some "games" played at a Christian youth group.

A skit at a local Christian youth group meeting had teenage boys taking off some of their clothes, wearing adult diapers, bibs and bonnets and being spoon-fed by girls as they sat in their laps....

O They Will Know We Are Christians By…

Savage comments:

Putting horny 14 year-old boys in diapers and then plopping them on the laps of teenage girls for a little spoon- and bottle-feeding… thus are life-long fetishes born. Not that I have anything against fetishes or the kind of formative life experiences that create ‘em. Far from it. I live in the house that fetishes bought.

But still. Could you imagine the uproar from Christian groups if, say, a gay youth group did something similar? Or a gay-straight student alliance?

A spokesman for the Christian youth group says they’ve done this for years—they also do a “skit” where girls eat chocolate pudding out of adult diapers—and that Ms. Metz’ son “had fun” in that diaper. I’ll bet he did—and odds are good that he’ll be having fun in diapers for the rest of his life.

It was the mother of one of the kids who blew the whistle on these antics, saying that they are "perverse." She is absolutely right. Leave this kind of play to consenting adults is what I say!

Thanks to Will for finding this one.

December 10, 2007 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (3)

Are they trying to frighten children or to turn them on?

Catholic coloring book warns US kids of pedophile priests

New York's Roman Catholic Church is trying a novel approach to alert children to the danger of being sexually assaulted by a priest, with an abuse-themed coloring book, officials said Tuesday.

"Being Friends, Being Safe, Being Catholic," was distributed earlier this year to several hundred schools in the New York area as part of the church's Safe Environment Program, a spokeswoman from the city's Archdiocese said.

One image in the book features a guardian angel hovering over an altar boy with a priest lurking in the background.

December 5, 2007 in Sex and Spirituality, Sexual Politics, Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (3)

Listen up"peopel." Keep youse noses out his horse's ballses.

Muscular bronze stallion with weird human genitalia advertises provincial hotel.

A bronze sculpture of a stallion holding a piece of rail in its mouth was built last week in the yard of Yar Hotel Muscular bronze stallion with weird human genitalia advertises provincial hotel situated at the entrance to the Russian town of Voronezh. The 3.5-meter-high statue weighs more than 3 tons. The stallion has a short-cut tail and the well-marked reproductive organ which greatly resembles the one of a man.....

When the sculptor’s father was asked about the stallion’s human sex organ he said that “it is just a matter of nature and peopel should not stick noses in it...."

October 16, 2007 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (1)

Found this during my research for pulp magazines last week.

"Disgustingly frank and revoltingly candid" and "Bizarre! Weird! Outlandish! Sick! And all true." Goodness. How did I miss this one?

Does anyone know this rag? Were the tales sexual or were they just gross? Was this all about the (not so) secret world of psychedelic drugs? I can't even figure out what the covergirl's doing while the nerd watches. Is she dropping some acid? Or trying to perform fellatio on a mosquito? WTF?

October 15, 2007 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (2)

I think it's only fair that pay for the damages....but is there a fetishist among us who cannot, on some level, identify with her sudden, overwhelming urge to kiss the object of her desire?

"Passionate" kiss lands art lover in court

A self-professed art lover stood trial on Tuesday accused of damaging a $2-million painting by kissing it while wearing red lipstick....

Rindy, an artist of Cambodian origin, has said she was "overcome with passion" when she saw the painting hanging on a gallery wall in July 2007. "This woman is profoundly upset. She was overcome by an emotion that she could not tame," her lawyers, Patrick Gontard Jean-Michel Ambrosino, told the court, describing the kiss as an "act of love."....

October 11, 2007 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

from Jezebel:

'Vulva': The Perfume Of The Panty-Minded

When we first discovered the fragrance Vulva, the "beguiling vaginal scent," we thought it was some sort of weird German art project. But no! It's a legit business that bottles pussy stank in those '80s Less Than Zero cocaine vials and calls itself not a perfume but a "smelling substance for your own pleasure."

Go
V U L V A.

Looking forward to their next innovative product: A S S H O L E.

September 26, 2007 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

Let me be clear: I admire vegetarians who refrain from eating meat out of kindness to animals. But despite being a rabid animal lover, pet protector, and the owned property of a mini-poodle and a border collie (and thus their political mouthpiece), I LOVE meat. Especially red meat. I am a complete hypocrite in that regard too. I prefer purchasing meat at a market where it is near-bloodless and neatly wrapped in shiny plastic so that it looks as innocuous as lumps of raw meat can.

"Where do you think your meat comes from?" my partner Jen will occasionally snap, usually after I've shouted down her suggestion that we shoot a deer for venison (living in the woods, we could eat venison all year long), or raise farm animals for the table.

I just can't. I won't. If we had goats or chickens or sheep, I would have to name them. I'd probably give them names like "Fluffy" and "Snowflake." It wouldn't take them long to realize that they owned me. And before you know it, I'd be their political mouthpiece too.

One more thing I should state up front. I am an American. This prohibits me, at times, from grasping the full cultural context that permits rituals and practices in other places that strike me as weird, bizarre or horrific.

So with all that said, from my meat-eating contextually-challenged American POV, this is just some of the most fucked up shit I've ever read.

New Bestiality Restaurant lets you Pork your Pork

Lurking underground in the heart of Tokyo's trendy Roppongi is a true heart of darkness - a members-only club that combines forbidden sex practices with the art of fine dining.

Now, I know what you're thinking - if I didn't read about this in Japan's respected Mainichi Daily News, I would not have believed it - and I'm not sure I want to believe it .

The gist of it is, members pay a hefty fee at the door to be allowed to... have sex with the animal of their choice - which is subsequently killed, cooked and served to the violator and his party for dinner!

September 24, 2007 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (4)

Are you strangely attracted to threads with words like 'Tampax' and 'Tupperware' ?

I just HAD to click on it. Pure scientific curiosity, of course. Wondering how kinky you have to be to have sexual fantasies about Tupperware.

Margaret was fascinated by the smooth plastic tubs. They seemed so
practical after all those years of storing men's balls in biscuit tins.

September 13, 2007 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

via Ananova

A museum in Iceland wants to talk to you

The world's only penis museum has appealed for a human specimen.

Curator Sigurdur Hjartarson opened the museum in 1974 in Husavik, Iceland, and has collected 195 penises from various animals.

His collection includes penises from hamsters, horses and whales.

But now he is appealing again for a human organ.

He said people from the UK, Germany and the US had contacted him offering their penises in the past but that none of the offers had ever been serious.....

I wonder if he's planning to bequeath his own "specimen" to the museum after he's done using it....

August 29, 2007 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

via Boing Boing:

Massive walrus penis bone sold for $8000

This marvel of nature, some 4.5 feet long, was purchased by the holding company that owns the Rilpey's Believe it or Not! Museums....

August 27, 2007 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

Blow me down. I'm going to have to rewrite my books. It never occurred to me that people could have a fetish for traffic signs.

.....police found the video camera and a “large amount” of 8mm and VHS video of Dills engaged in masturbation and sex acts with traffic signs near his home.....

August 16, 2007 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (2)

Disturbing enough that American men are obsessed with real dolls, those creepy psuedo-flesh-like fucktoys who they treat as girlfriends and wives, now Japanese technology has come up with the Honey Doll--a model that moans and has robo-orgasms.

And, you may be wondering, what could be creepier than Honey? Why, it would have to be the the guy who has spent $170k to acquire a 100-strong harem of life-like fuckdolls. As he points out, with fake women you don't have to worry about them ever cheating on you.

Ah the depths an embittered romantic will sink to just to avoid rejection.

August 13, 2007 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (9)

Now why didn't I ever think of this?

Oh yeah. Cuz I don't have that much time on my hands. :I

Pretty cool, though, if it really works.

Condom Ecosphere - video powered by Metacafe

July 19, 2007 in Post-Modern Pop Culture, Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (2)

Um, errr... Who designed these?? Agh. They look like nuns. That's just so wrong.

link

Why not just use these? So much more appropriate, don't you think?

July 10, 2007 in Post-Modern Pop Culture, Sex and Sadomasochism, Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

Would you do what this 41 year old mom did and pretend that you are a 19 year old transgendered male truck-stop hooker in order to publish a book and make a movie deal?

One wonders what actually prompted her. Was it all about the money, or is there a part of her who actually wishes she was the character she invented and then marketed for bucks?

June 21, 2007 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

found on Fleshbot.

OK...now a list of what's wrong with these dolls, according to me:

1. The strings hanging make them look like they're wearing tampons in their butts.

2. If you pull the strings, do parachutes pop out of their heads? Seriously, what's with the strings?

3. They look like amputees. Unless you're into that, you might end up feeling sorry for them. Bit of a buzz kill.

4. I understand the big tits and the lingerie doodads but anyone who French-fucked her would rub himself raw on that lace. MAJOR buzz kill.

5. This is the creepiest most dehumanizing doll EVER!

Does she turn you on?

June 12, 2007 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (4)

Definitely, hands-down, the strangest sex story of the week.

Drew Gagnon, 37, was arrested in November after police said he broke into the barn....and used orange spray paint on the genitals of the three goats....

March 28, 2007 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

People sometimes ask me, "How can I know when I've taken my sexual fantasies too far?"

Here is someone who took her fantasy way too far, a female-to-male cross-dressing cop uniform fetishist who fooled her girlfriend into thinking she was a man and has now been busted for impersonating a deputy. Did she think she'd get away with it? Or was she past caring whether or not she got caught?

March 24, 2007 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (2)

My stomach churns when I read stories about people who are tricked into strange sexual situations by con artists and pranksters. Last year, I blogged about a fast-food clerk who was spanked by her boss when a phone hoaxter convinced them it was necessary.

Another sex prank just hit the national news, this time about a man who convinced a couple to have sex in front of him, claiming he was doing a survey for an insurance company on whether condoms and sheets could increase sperm count.

It's easy to laugh and wonder, "What were they thinking? I'd never get conned like that!" - until, of course, you are the victim of such a con.

I know. From personal experience. I can't claim naivete either. I was neither young nor innocent when it happened. I was entrenched in the late 1980s NYC SM Scene, leading as scandalously uninhibited a life as I could. As I was getting ready to go out one night, my phone rang. Thinking it was my date, I picked up. It was a woman doing a survey for a department store chain. I told her I was in a rush and couldn't talk; she told me that participation would make me eligible for special gifts and discounts from the store.

FREE STUFF. OOOO.

I remember thinking she had a very husky voice. But even though my SO at the time was a cross-dresser (DUH!) it didn't occur to me that this particular she was a he too. She was so friendly and nice and..perky!. And, at first, she asked predictable questions. Then she began delving into my shopping habits. And then she began delving into my personal habits. My very personal habits, like my bra size and what kind of bras I bought - which, she explained, was to help the store improve its lingerie selections. I recall her asking me at one point if I shaved my genitals and I remember protesting, "Why do they need to know that?". Naturally, she had a reasonable-sounding explanation for that too. She was so well-practiced, everything sounded rational - at least through the filter of greed.

Of course, in retrospect, none of it was. But she had uttered the magic words "free gifts and coupons" and even hinted at the possibility of a $1000 shopping spree for some participants. My greed got the better of me. So even though I kept eying the clock I wanted the loot! So I kept answerinknowing I'd be late for my date, I kept hurriedly answering her questions. Finally, she starting asking me to do things. "Do you ever bring clothes to the dry-cleaner?" she asked perkily. Step by step, she got me to remove a recently dry-cleaned dress from my closet. She got me to remove the dress from the plastic bag. She got me to pick up the bag. And then she wanted me to put the plastic bag over my head.

At which point I woke up from my delirium of greed with a loud internal, "Holy fuckeroni!!!" and hung up the phone, shaken, frightened, disgusted and mainly pissed at myself..

How could I - femme fatale, libertine, pervert - have fallen for it?? It was so stupid - and so obvious! Of course it was a guy. A sick fucked-up son-of-a-bitch who was likely jerking off the whole time. I felt truly humiliated.

How many other women had he conned? I certainly didn't plan on reporting it. How many others went through with the whole ritual? Was there some poor girl out there who had followed all of that psycho's directions, only to be found the next day dead of asphyxiation, and declared an apparent suicide??

Just how many people out there are victims of sex pranks and never ever tell a soul about it?

March 15, 2007 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sometimes, you feel like a nut. .

March 13, 2007 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

Superheldinnen - Cyber Fetish Art.

March 13, 2007 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (1)

In case you haven't seen this yet - I believe Sharon Stone was still thinking about the scheisse movie she'd just filmed with Hans und Fritz in her hotel room.....

February 26, 2007 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

and today it's...

Psychic Penis

Some psychics read tarot cards, some read palms, some even analyze handwriting. This site is the brainchild of "a famous Hollywood psychic" who accidentally discovered she had the ability to read penises.....

Thanks to devotion for the link.

February 6, 2007 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (2)

A dead man's storage locker yielded dozens of tombstones, a macabre collection that police believe represents "a lifetime of stealing...."

And a lifetime of truly strange sex fantasies?

February 3, 2007 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (3)

I'm mad about old-fashioned lobby cards. The cheesy art is often hilarious. Just spotted this, and clicked on it expecting some silliness involving Moe, Larry and Curly. You mean there are OTHER stooges? WTF. And what's with Snow White putting someone in bondage? And why does he look like a Neanderthal?

Has anyone, perchance, seen this cinematic gem?

January 30, 2007 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (4)

OK, you smarty-pants inventor-pervs. You have done terrible, degrading things with everyday objects, you've perverted the bejesus out of innocent kitchen utentils, you've bought stuff at Home Depot that the people at Home Depot could never even imagine would be used in the twisted ways you use them, and you've made toys out of everything that wasn't nailed down. But do you know how to make a vibrator out of vegetables?

January 23, 2007 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

One of nature's strangest anomalies was just tagged in Wisconsin. The young buck had nub antlers - and seven legs. Lisko said it also had both male and female reproductive organs.

December 17, 2006 in Pets and Animal Love, Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

Wow. Do you suppose all the right-wing Christian deer are, at this very moment, plotting to protect their fauns from deer whose lifestyle "choices" they don't like?

Wouldn't it be wonderful if, one day, they read a story like this and suddenly got a CLUE?

Birds do it. Bees do it. Even bambis running through the woods do it. Let's do it: let's all accept sexual diversity as natural phenomena.

When Carmen Erickson dropped a deer with a single shot in a cattail slough south of here, he thought he'd downed a nice buck. Unlike his shot, he was a little off. The deer was a doe.

"It's got no male utilities," said Erickson, who lives in Minot. "It has teats ... it was pretty unusual."

Six hunting partners with Erickson witnessed the doe with a 4-by-4 rack....

November 28, 2006 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

OMG, so many truly hideously bad headlines come to mind...in fact, I almost titled this "The Shit that was heard around the world."

File this one under "things you should never EVER do to or with your bung-hole."

A man was rushed to hospital in Britain with severe internal injuries after trying to launch a powerful firework from his bottom....

November 10, 2006 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (1)

Couple of rather strange (strangely amusing or strangely alarming, depending on your POV) new times.

First, did you hear about the Israeli thief who broke into a sexologist'ss car and ran off with 40 vibrators? Did he know what he was stealing before he stole them? Or was it a she - perhaps she just couldn't bypass the opportunity for an orgasmfest?

From Doug (thanks, pal) comes this even more curious report about about what has to be one of the most unusual sexually-oriented businesses in the world -- brothels whose "ladies of the night" are in fact Real Dolls that you can rent (along with a private room) by the hour.

One question: does someone come in and disinfect the doll's rubber vagina after every visitor?

October 19, 2006 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (1)

As we enjoyed a rare formal dinner at home Friday, housemates and I felt it incumbent upon us to explain some of life's rare fetishes to our girlfriend Mayim. As your average nice American kinky girl, Mayim is not exactly naive. She reads the Internet and everything. Yet somehow when I made some no doubt inappropriate joke about yiffing, she looked perplexed. Oh my gosh, she didn't know about furries! So we told her. Not in huge detail but enough to make her start intently poking her food around her plate, as if looking for a lost contact lens.

OK. So I'm an insensitive swine. Someone else might have diplomatically moved the dinner conversation to something much more acceptable - like the kind of bondage rack we were planning to build in the dungeon, or perhaps the suspension possibilities of the garage. But no, I'm a sadist, and seeing her poke her food, I want to see more poking.

'What about plushies? Do you know about plushies?"

Mayim must've thought the lens had fallen to the tablecloth because she was now scrutinizing it glumly. "No, I haven't. Plushies?"

"Yeah, plushies, you know, people with a fetish for stuffed animals. They like to dress up in plushy animal costumes and have sex with people in...."

"Please stop," she blurted, cutting me off. Mayim had reached a hard limit.

And sadist though I am, I had to respect that limit. Oh darn.

It delighted me when I found this story yesterday.

Disney says "non" to Mouse orgy

The Walt Disney Co. on Thursday said it took "appropriate action" against employees at its Paris theme park who were caught simulating sex while dressed as Disney characters in a digital video that has received wide attention on the Internet....

(Image of Madonna by Herb Ritts)

What do you think "appropriate action," Disney-style, would be? A spanking from Goofy?

And speaking of strange Mickey fetishes...A mother-daughter act?!

SAFE WORD!!!

October 16, 2006 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

Introduce him to your big beautiful girlfriends, apparently.

Hungry men attracted to heavier women: British study

According to The Times, a man on an empty stomach is more likely to be attracted to a heavier woman, research published in the British Journal of Psychology showed....

July 29, 2006 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

He fits in a car's glove box, appears at a flick of a switch and when a woman has finished using him, she can just pull the plug and he deflates....

Oh yeah, sure - like women would only keep him in their glove compartments.

Come on- is this just a clever marketing ploy to dump surplus gay party dolls? The article doesn't mention if he's anatomically correct. If he isn't, that would explain the surplus.

I can see them at the snarky gay sex toy warehouse now....

"Hey, Bruce! Y'know those rubber lovedolls we ordered? They don't have dicks!"

"I know! Let's sell them to women! They're used to dickless men anyway, aren't they?"

(Yes, I know. I am a bitch. But you wouldn't have it any other way, would you?)

July 25, 2006 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

I guess British cops are tired of looking at raggedy underpants and stray pussy hairs.

And who can blame them?

....The latest attempt by the police to get hip with the kids is aimed at hammering home a responsible drinking message to the sort of young lady who might be found blind drunk and vomiting in a gutter after a night out on the town.

"For those of you intent on getting ratted (drunk) this weekend, think," reads Safe! magazine, accompanied by pictures of a scantily-clad woman collapsed on the floor flashing her underwear. "If you fall over or pass out, remember your skirt or dress may ride up. You could show off more than you intended -- for all our sakes, please make sure you're wearing nice pants and that you've recently had a wax...."

July 14, 2006 in Sex Laws and Crimes, Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (2)

Wheeeee!

Personally, I am disgusted by this unidentified streaker at Wimbledon. The rest of his outfit is fine but look at those black socks! Where's his fashion sense?

July 6, 2006 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (1)

The ONLY reason I'm blogging this is because it had such a nifty photo to go with the story. The way the doctor's staring at it, you get the sense he doesn't think this was such a bright idea...

Fateh Mohammad, a prison inmate in Pakistan, says he woke up last weekend with a glass lightbulb in his anus....

Mohammad, who is serving a four-year sentence for making liquor, prohibited for Muslims, said he was shocked when he was first told the cause of his discomfort. He swears he didn't know the bulb was there....

The reason being...uh...he remembers putting a lamp up there but didn't realize the bulb had come loose?

The only thing odder than the fact that people universally stick weird things up their behinds is that they usually deny that they did it. Instead, they will insist it was some kind of freak accident or a crime against them by some unknown perpetrator. You know - it was just another sunny day and their anus was innocently strolling about town, minding its own business, when somehow someone snuck a lightbulb up inside it.

Caveat rectum! Bad enough we must guard against all those aliens who go around probing asses for secret intelligence about human life. (Surely you've figured out by now when E.T.'s finger was so long, right?) Now we need to beware the lightbulb sodomy brigade! I'm surprised the FBI hasn't appointed a special task force to track down potential anal-lightbulb-rapists on the Net. You know who you are.

Anyway, this story prompts a couple of memories....

1. About 11-12 yrs ago, we were visiting with the French dominatrix/intellectual Mistress Francoise when she decided to entertain her American guests and invited one of her female workers - a former nurse - to tell us the tale of the anal sausage accident. A guy had showed up late one night at a Paris emergency room, complaining of rectal pain and saying he'd had a terrible accident. As the doctors proceded to remove a gigantic sausage from his ass (mmm...was it a sopressato, one wonders? I love a good sopressato), and exclaimed over it, he gaspingly explained that he had removed his pants before going to bed and sat down on a chair - and gee, he must have forgotten he'd left a sausage on the chair! He sat right on it and then somehow it managed to sneak all the way up his ass before he realized what had happened!

Yeah. Don't you just hate it when foreign objects climb up your ass unassisted?

2. Joke I heard way back in my Wall Street days (ca. 1980s)- which means it's baaaad, oh so bad.

A man shows up at a proctologist's office, complaining of horrible rectal pain. The doctor puts him on the examining table and examines him, with a special tool so he can look up the colon.

"I don't see anything," the doctor mutters.

"Please, doctor, you gotta help me. Please, look harder! It's killing me!"

The doctors looks again. "Nope, I don't think so."

"Please, doc, I'm dying, try again, I can feel something in there, I swear!"

The doctor gives it a final try and then loudly exclaims, "Holy crap! It looks like you've got a whole bouquet of roses up there!!"

"I do??" the man cried. "Oh my God! Can you see who signed the card???"

(You were warned. Oh yes you were.)

June 30, 2006 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (5)

Thanks to Dan for pointing me to these two strange stories in the news.

First, from India, a report on a new trend to combat the shortage of women: "wife-renting."

Some husbands in western India are renting out their wives to other men, cashing in on a shortage of single women available for marriage... . Atta Prajapati, a farm worker who lives in Gujarat state, leases out his wife Laxmi to a wealthy landowner for $175 US a month, the Times of India reported.... A farm worker earns a monthly minimum wage of around $22...

Meanwhile, in Cameroon, the government is trying to stop the practice of flattening girls' breasts.

A nationwide campaign is under way in Cameroon to discourage the widespread practice of "breast ironing".

This involves pounding and massaging the developing breasts of young girls with hot objects to try to make them disappear.

Statistics show that 26% of Cameroonian girls at puberty undergo it, as many mothers believe it protects their daughters from the sexual advances of boys and men who think children are ripe for sex once their breasts begin to grow.

The most widely used instrument to flatten the breasts is a wooden pestle, used for pounding tubers in the kitchen. Heated bananas and coconut shells are also used....

June 25, 2006 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

Why would a woman need a sword to control a man...when she has a pussy?

(OK, seriously, this story isn't funny. It's...fascinating. But not funny.)

A Chinese woman has been charged with accidentally killing her husband with a sword after he refused to make her dinner, the Shanghai Daily said on Tuesday.

Police said Tang Xiaowan, 25, who has been practicing swordsmanship since she was young, had often forced her husband of three years at swordpoint to carry out her demands....

June 23, 2006 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (1)

Ummmm....

A La Crosse man was cited for soliciting a prostitute after he called police dispatch and demanded his money be refunded when the woman did not perform a sexual service....

Beach told responding officers that he had a learning disability and that a woman named Victoria had taken advantage of him. He told police that Victoria said she would have intercourse with him for $40, reports said....

Beach did not know Victoria’s last name or contact information, but said he would call police if she returns, according to the report.....

June 22, 2006 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

Why do I have an image of this all taking place at Fawlty Towers, while Basil runs around trying desperately to conceal the antics from visiting dignitaries?

Civil servants probed over sex in toilets, drug-taking claims

....a whistleblower at the Newcastle office outlined a series of allegations about his workplace to a local newspaper, which included:

-- Staff leaping naked from filing cabinets, which was caught on closed circuit television (CCTV);

-- A new craze of vomiting in cups and leaving them to fester in cupboards until they are discovered through the horrendous smell;

-- People taking drugs and having sex in the toilets;

-- Swearing and having fun-fights in the reception area; and

-- Staff holding break-dancing competitions during working hours

June 13, 2006 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (2)

What was he thinking? "I'm so sexually faithful to you, I won't even fuck you anymore?" Hello?

Man severs penis to prove faithfulness

A man who apparently severed his penis in an attempt to convince his wife that he was faithful to her was recovering after surgery to reattach the organ at a northern Malaysian hospital, a news report said Tuesday....

May 31, 2006 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (1)

OK. We knew American life was going to hell in a handbasket when we heard about those "black trench-coat" kids thinking they're commandoes.

But purple ladies' bathing suits commandos?

Apparently the apocalypse is here and nobody's noticed.

A man wearing a purple women's bathing suit and carrying a flare gun was arrested after he told a bartender he was going to "get rid of all the dirt bags in Key West," authorities said.

Jeffrey C. Anderson, 55, was charged with carrying a concealed firearm Monday after he brandished the flare gun, which was under a skirt he was wearing, Key West police spokeswoman Christie Phillips said....

"[The bartender] reported she had seen a man, later identified as Anderson, dancing in the street showing tourists his private parts, and asking people for money when they took his picture...."

May 31, 2006 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

Perhaps he's a submissive male swan who's met the heartless Amazon of his dreams...

A swan has fallen in love with a plastic swan-shaped paddle boat on a pond in the German town of Muenster and has spent the past three weeks flirting with the vessel five times its size....

Peter Overschmidt, who operates a sailing school and rents the two-seat paddle boat on the Aasee pond, said the black swan with a bright red beak has not left the white swan boat's side since it flew in one day in early May.

"It seems like he's fallen in love," said Overschmidt. "He protects it, sits next to it all the time and chases away any sail boats that get anywhere nearby. He thinks the boat is a strong and attractive swan...."

May 27, 2006 in Sexual Strangeness | Permalink | Comments (0)

I can't wait to find out who the Court will appoint to peek into his pants for the proof.

Joseph "Donald" Scordato offered a